These emotions fuel fires,
I get excited watching them burn.
Every time I look it has a new flare,
So bright I don’t want to look away,
It spreads and I don’t care,
I let it destroy just to watch it go.
I sit here tossing more gasoline,
just to smell the evergreen,
It only lasts as long as it burns.
you’d think the arsonist would be the one who learns,
but mistakes don’t make lessons if they feel good,
when you think you can fix them on your own,
you only get so far till you get what you’ve sown.

Have all the instigations of my heart issues
dawned insinuations of my used tissues,
Or am I the one to blame?
Can I trust a mind that never stays the same?
How are there no answers,
in the windows of your eyes?
Why aren’t my instincts strong enough to overcome these lies
I make up in my mind,
the ones that bring peace,
but only for a time in between my insanity?
For the very next moment I’m wise enough, I wish I was always wise enough, to come back to reality.

Covered by leafy canopy
No one knows where the light comes from
Led by a vague presence of direction
Look at the green,
That’s all you see.
Lost in melancholy,
Lost in being lost
Looking for a reason to be found,
Looking for an idea of who could find.

I can’t stand it,
It’s like a constant pressure,
A destiny that may never measure up.
Why do I feel this,
Where does it come from?
Does my mind make it greater than it truly is for a reason?
Because that would be the greatest treason.
You run, you hide, you follow me, and hurt me.
Nothing but the end, if it even exists, can stop the burning.

Its a moment in time,
it finds me ever so often.
Like a vague dream that lingers throughout the day,
Or like a childhood home that isn’t gone but isn’t the same.
I miss it with so much of my heart,
And I go back to it often,
It reminds me where I came from, why I am me,
It reminds me of true friends who deeply care.
The moment seems passed,
but the friend I think of often,
I can’t think of a better person than the one of this moment,
I wouldn’t wish any life without them in it.
Its funny because they’re here,
But consistency doesn’t come often,
I see a future in their eyes that I can’t forget,
It’s home and I feel I am always chasing it.
They’re not the one,
at least now,
But their character stays with me often,
Like your deep passion that leads you to a life career,
Like those postcards of paradise that lead you to your own .
I don’t know why she’s stuck around so long,
I don’t know why it comes back so often,
The peacefulness is kind of melancholy and lonely,
But the kind of lonely that you share with another.
Its almost taunting its place in my life,
How it follows between friends so often,
It never seems to fit, like a daisy taken with the weeds,
Like a singer in the shower, with no audience to listen.
I want my friend close,
But how with pain so often?
I can’t seem to bring the past to the present,
I just want to acclimate to the change without loss.
I could go on forever,
My heart cries often,
This may just be a guide for one to come along,
It may just lead me to a home with similar peculiarity.
I will carry this flower,
I will smell it often,
I won’t forget the past with all the good it brings,
I will take what I’ve learned and trek to my home out there.

I get roped in,
I get caught every time.
The smell of bait is always attracting like a word’s next rhyme.
And I can’t seem to get out of this trap I find myself in so often,
All I need is a glance, a smile, a touch, and I find myself in this coffin.

You see, I write about these things so routinely.
It takes up all my emotion,
And my thoughts are formed obscenely.

I am either running
From the things I dream at night
Or dwelling in my sleep
Until I can't stand my waking self.
My character seems to hang by a thread’s might,
And I now see it lacks in wealth.