I don't remember being well anymore,
I don't remember what a peaceful day feels like,
I don't remember when the physical pain wasn't here
If I hadn't already been crazy the pain would have driven me there...
Dropped me off, threw my stuff out, left like a bat out of hell and never looked back.
But I was already on my way when the pain started.
It just made the walk harder.
There is a lot i don't remember actually .
Childhood stuff I should.
It hurts my moms feelings, so I play along about 'that one time' and all my great memories.
She usually knows I'm lieing ,
She pretends not to notice
And I smile and nod, pretending to remember.
It is a Symptom of the diseases,
The forgetfulness, the blankness.
Part brain fog, slow synapse, brain changes from great stress and brain inflammation,
But also part Defense mechanism.
There are whole years gone...blocked out
I don't remember being well anymore,
I can't remember the name for simple words most of the time,
And I don't remember peace but I still pray for it.