We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.

Sa mga tala hihingi ako ng paunawa
Mga bagay na di ko na dapat ginawa
Pero sabi nga
Baka naman daw masyado lang akong walang tiwala
Sa sarili kong balisang balisa
Mga bagay na di ko na maipaliwanag
Kaya bang linawin ng ng mga talang aking laging tinatawag?
Sabi ko gusto ko nang lumayo ngunit sabi ko din "wag"
Di ko lubos maintindihan
Kung ano ang dahilan
Paano na ba iyan?                                
Maipaliliwanag mo ba kung bakit ngayon wala nang laman?
Kasi nung huli kong tinignan
Lahat tayo'y masaya laging nandyan
Ngayon... bakit?
Bakit wala nang laman???            
Pati puso ko di ko na maramdaman
Sobrang sakit na hindi maipaliliwanag nino man
Ayokong umalis nang hindi ito ayos
Pero di ko talaga alam kung anong gagawin kong kilos        
Dahil sa tuwing ika'y kaharap na
Lahat ng aking mga tanong ay biglang nawawala nang parang bula
Di ko alam kung paano ka kakausapin tungkol dyan sa sitwasyong di kaunaunawa
Kalagayan natin ngayo'y kaawa awa...

Di ko na talaga alam...
Sa tingin ko'y ako na'y naging mangmang
Kaya isang kudos na lamang
Para sa ating lahat

Nakakapagod mag kunwari
Na parang kala mo lahat walang mali
Ayoko kasing malaman nila
Na minsan ako ri'y nababalisa
Kasi sa pananaw ko
Ito ang estado ng sarili ko
Na kung saan maraming may oportunidad saking manloko
Pero ewan ko
Yung mga taong inaasahan kong makakaintindi
Ni isang beses sa tingin ko'y wala namang ****
Ang mga salitang hinihintay ko
Ni isa walang nakapagsabi
Kelan mo ba matututunan yung salitang "Ok ka lang? Maayos ka pa ba?"
Kelan kaya yan maiuukit ng iyong mga labi?

To the moon and stars above
Would you gladly listen to my plea?
I badly want to flee
To the mountain top I shall go
And scream to my heart's content
Cause I no longer know
Up to when I shall endure
This unspeakable feeling
It's been following me everywhere
I dont know how to put it into phrases
What more into sentences
Not even a word could express it
Too much thought is taking up my tired and restless brain
There's just so much pain and confusion
I can't even come up with a single conclusion
Everything ended up like a convulsion
But I know there was a root to the problem
Now we need it to be uprooted
Because the bigger it grows
It might soon become a tree and bear
Unbearable fruits      
These fruits look delish but you'll never know that it'll make you perish...

Tell me when... When will this end?
Cause it's gnawing at my chest cavity and it's making the floorboard shriek
It scares me to the bone
And it has made my soul unconscious...

You're seen as somebody who is unexpectedly soft
fragile
delicate
vulnerable
In fact, your persona was described as tough
firm
strong
mysterious
I wasn't that certain yet when I saw that pure innocence upon your eyes
little did I know that you really were deception
yet I still saw your true reflection
Now I can never look at you the same way
I look at you now with so much care
I painstakingly want to be your very own bubble wrap

An encrypted note on a papyrus
An ancient mystery that refuses to be solved
But I saw through your wall
Now I could sense the tears wanting to come out like a water fall

*I finally deciphered your intriguing paradox

Now I see the cracks
All your soft parts and misshapen heart
Your broken wings
that are truly a beauty
Once impossible to decode
Now I see your most vulnerable self
Your sensitive persona
The actual you that you've been hiding under a snake's skin

So fragile that every time I touch you, I feel like I might break you
To lessen the pain you feel, I badly want to hug you tight and may that be enough to put you back in one piece

*I wont leave. I promise.