You only wanted *** and pleasure.

           I was just an afterthought.

The digital clock reads 4:30, it’s time to leave
I send one last email and sign out of my accounts
I put on my jacket and grab my pack
Hurriedly, I walk down the stairs, out the door and into the car
Work has ended for the day, but I have one last assignment to complete
It’s not an easy task, but it could be worse
I think of the many ways to start my message
And debate whether we should keep in touch
I look back at the time we spent together and how you were with me
One awful moment stands out and suddenly the ongoing debate stops,
A decision is made.
After arriving home, I quickly change into my pyjamas
I turn on my email and review my decision
It’s done. It’s final. I don’t want you in my life.
I think some more about what to say,
Whether I should be kind or just lay it all out.
I check my inbox and see a message from you.
Your email disgusts me.
Another decision is made: I’m breaking someone’s heart tonight.
I start writing my reply. It’s far from nice.
I am fuming. My anger can be felt with every word I type.
I have been nothing but kind to you, even when you were selfish.
Now it’s time I put you in your place and tell you what I really think
About you and all your bulls**t.
After typing a lengthy paragraph filled with vile,
I feel so relieved. But it’s not enough.
I want to say more, but I don’t want to waste another minute on you.
I re-read my message and make some adjustments.
This will do.
I click send,
This one action severs the tie, for good.

I just broke someone’s heart tonight.

The first date fell on a cool Sunday evening
In August 2014
We dined on sushi while we exchanged
Stories and typical first-date questions
We headed out for a quick stroll around the block
Before driving off into the city
We pulled over and shared an intimate moment
Which lasted for hours but only felt like a minute
Kisses and embraces all around
I had the most amazing time
I retired that night satisfied but wanting more of you
Since we parted ways, memories of you have slowly dimmed
But every now and then on a Sunday
Something will remind me of you
Then a film of that Sunday evening
Would play in my mind
Until those memories stamped with your name
Fade in significance and with time
Every other Sunday and every single summer
When the same date rolls around in the calendar
You’ll be the one I think of
You’ll be the one I remember

From brown eyes to green, the date began
I extend my hand to invite a handshake
We both exchange an “It’s nice to meet you”
We are escorted to our table
Chosen at random by our server, but perfectly selected
For the spot offers a phenomenal view of the coniferous trees below
And the majestic mountains of the North Shore
Our eyes meet again
From brown eyes to green
We sit and start conversing
You are stunningly dressed and I cannot take my eyes off you
Your eyes are locked into mine
You must be really into me just as I am into you
Our server interrupts, we place our orders
Your every move makes my heart flutter,
From how you flip the pages of the menu
To how you rest your elbow on the table with your hand on your chin,
Smiling sweetly at me
I’m having an amazing time
You tell me you are too

Dinner goes by in a flash, the sun has fully set
We drive off through the winding road and into the city traffic
I haven’t kissed you yet
But I want to
After umpteen intersections and two cities
We arrive at your apartment
I walk you to your door
I turn to face you
From brown eyes to green
I lean in for the kiss
A quick gentle one
I wish you a good night
But you want more...
From brown eyes to green
You lean in and kiss me with fervor and passion
You ask me if I want to come in, but I’m hesitant to answer
From green eyes to brown
Your intense, desire-filled gaze pushes me to say yes
Another episode to the evening begins..

A quick hello to all of you on this site
Here to share a quick poem before I head off
Into the city, into the night
To watch a game played on a rink of ice
Between two teams with a common goal of gloriously holding the Stanley Cup high in the sky
A new Citizen of Hello Poetry
Putting words to paper has never been a stranger to me
I have always had a love for words and poetry
And now here I am excited to share the words that flow out of me..

If I could tell you how much you mean to me
I would say you’re everything to me.
If I could tell you how much you make me happy
I would say no one else makes me happier than you do.
If I could tell you how much I want things to work out between us
I would say that I’m willing to do whatever has to be done to
Make things between us perfect or close to perfection.
If I could tell you how you make me feel
I would say that no one has ever made me feel this way.
If I could tell you how much I want you in my life
I would say that I never want to let you go.
If I could tell you how sorry I am for pushing you away
I would ask you to give me another chance.
I’m asking you for a hand because I cannot do this on my own.
For this to work, willingness from both of us is required.
I believe things happen for a reason.
Meeting you was one of the best things that has ever happened in my life.
It’s for a reason.
It’s no lie.
Thinking back to those sweet days makes me realize
This is true and it’s for real.
It was my mistake to walk away
When chance after chance was given.
I was afraid of what I didn’t know.
But now that I know, I’m ready for it.
The only question is, are you?

|| Layers, ||
                           ||| layers, |||
                                                           |||| layers ||||
To each person there are many
I have mine: from the two-piece I always wear
To the intangible levels that make me who I am
And you have yours: from the one-piece cropped tops
To the varied fronts you show to hide your vulnerability.
With the help of your hands and charm, I unhesitatingly and slowly peeled off my layers
To show you who I really am:

                                   Genuine, unbroken, pure

You on the other hand,
Your layers unraveled themselves
Over the months
Giving me a picture of who you are:

                                       Bro//ken, afraid, [closed-off]

Not giving me a chance
Only giving me excuses
For why there can’t be more.
The one layer you did not want to peel off
Would reveal and open your heart
I revealed mine, foolishly thinking you would do the same
But you never did…

Before I met you every love song sounded empty.
But now, I feel you in every love song I hear.
New and old. On the radio or on my iTunes playlist.
Happy, sad or anything in between.
You are in each word of every love song I hear...

My heart and mind live on my burning desire
The very same desire that someone doesn’t want me to acquire.
That someone requires me to be something I’m not
But she doesn’t understand me; she doesn’t know exactly what I want.
I thought I was free, I thought I would be
The one who makes the choice, no one else, just me…

She stood by the window with her back to me.
With the light of the moon shining on her,
She slowly undressed.
The moonlight exposed her beautiful complexion
And accentuated her figure
How can I not fall in love with her...

You texted me a hello and a Happy New Year
You asked how I was doing and I responded “Doing Well”
I returned your question of “How are you doing”
I followed after with “Did you have a good New Year’s Eve”
You kept your responses simple and vague
You left my second question hanging by only answering with
‘Working a lot’ and stating how happy you were to hear I was doing well
Your short, simple responses gave nothing away
About what has occurred in your life
Since the last time we had a willing and connected conversation
The way you responded left me to wonder
The reason why you contacted me
Your distant responses made it very clear
That this would be the last time you and I would ever talk
This is the end of the two of us
The end of you and I
The end of any possibility of you and I being one
As I quietly sit in the Marketing Room
Thinking about the obvious next step
I waiver on my decision to delete your number off my Blackberry forever
I questioned whether I would regret this decision
Then an old quote by Khalil Gibran came to me:
“If you love somebody let them go, for if they return, they were always yours.
And if they don’t, they never were.”
Believing the truth behind his words,
I proceeded to clearing our messages
And deleting your number off my phone
Until next time..
If there is one..
Only time will tell..

We have all been in a situation or two
Which we consider to be a tragedy
From losing a loved one forever
To saying goodbye to a fury companion
To saying goodbye to someone important who is in pursuit of
Their goals and dreams
We ache over their departure and are scarred by the loss
We try to find the strength to let go and move on
But every attempt to do so is weakened
By the hurt we feel in our hearts
After what seems to be a decade of time has passed
We can finally let go of the hurt we once felt so strongly
For some, just the thought of losing someone or something
So near and dear is to their definition the most epic tragedy
But the greatest tragedy of all I have found is not in losing someone you love,
It's the love one cannot have,
The love not reciprocated
For there is a yearning to fill their world with your unconditional love
And an insatiable hunger for their embrace
All of that which you want cannot be fulfilled
Your love denied, your love perpetually unfurled...

She is smart, independent, driven, attractive
She takes good care of herself
She is very ambitious
She is a woman with power who knows what she wants
She has an exotic complexion and a bold haircut
She loves the ocean and the beach
She is a surfer with a daring attitude
She has a love for cats
She has a preference for the colour black
She lives in a tower seven floors up overlooking the village
She is a girl with edge and a tough exterior
But beneath that toughness, she is broken and hurting
Damaged by two people she loved but betrayed her
Her pain has made her untameable and her heart unobtainable
Nevertheless I still want her, as she is, as opposite as she may be
She has captured my attention and I cannot leave her alone
She is the one I want but she is also the girl I cannot have

...The girl who hurt me by not letting me love her...

[Love] is a risk.
                   No matter who you give yourself to.

     Whether it's your first or your second or even your fifth love.

There will always be a chance you will get [hurt].

But you dive in anyways
                   because if you don't, you will wonder what could have been.

       By taking a risk you will know what love is and you learn to love again.

A torn heart,
A broken soul,
I don’t know which way to go,
I’m losing control.
I once had a dream,
A burning desire,
But now it’s slowly turning into smithereens.
In the middle, feeling trapped,
Two different voices, two different paths.
One is not me, not what I want to be
The other is my dream, my burning desire.
What should I do? Which way should I go?