Southside Cinderella
Its about a life
full of strife
and heartache
until Jake.

I was young and wild
wanting a child
untamed and strong
but, the dream was wrong.

The life is changed now,
too late for hope now,
those dreams can't come true now,
too late for me and you now.

Now my heart is heavy as a clod,
How will love and god,
when grief and disappointment prevail
put winds back into this sail!

I fear I will hear baby laughter then,
maybe i will pretend
that the jealousy is gone.
I will go on,
angry, but will you see
there is no more baby laughter for me?
Just infertility!

At a Paul Jones in 1960 was the start,
at the HermanSons Hall she stole his heart.
Her twenty told Adolph Hoffner when to stop
Ooh! He was handsome and a cotton top.

It starts with a soft shoe, or a boogie beat
he twirls her around up out of her seat,
off they go to the smooth dance floor
he pulls her in, to throw her out once more.

He smiles, she radiates, all so natural,
the two step, the jitterbug, having a ball!
So fluid and together like poetry in motion,
Number 9 was his favorite love potion.

About ten years later, it would be,
back at the dance hall he and she.
Me and my two sisters all around their feet
happy and singing to the country beat.
Then he'd pick us up, daughters all three
and a dancing family we would be!

Baby sister on his shoulders, us on each hip,
mom had his hand and could still get a dip.
He'd spin us all around as if we were one,
I can't remember ever having so much fun!

Sore feet, out of breath, on into the night
never remember them ever having a fight.
Dancer's move back, some room to give
Encore! More! for them to dance is to live!!!

The smells were "Charles of the Ritz",
and "Old Spice",
it used to blend so very nice.
The Texas Tophands were the band
that first night that he took her hand.

That's how she hooked him, she would say,
bribed a whistler, to look her way,
blew the whistle, so that he would stop
and be her partner, spin her like a top!

He's been her partner now for 48 years
had her hand through laughter and tears.
As their daughter I just wanted to say,
Happy Anniversary! Have a wonderful day.

I hurt
I think it's loss and disappointment from
"Hopes" that were never born,
Which leaves me so forlorn.

Oh, and I cry
almost every day now
and I sigh,
then he always asks why....

The pain in my heart,
Why does it go so deep?
the way I weep;
I grieve so hard,
they say I even call & cry in my sleep.

Pictures in my mind of children at play
a dream, a hope, never to be.
My grandfathers were veterans of war, they say.
Agent orange says "one out of four" you see.

Uncle Sam says "no compensation" for me,
No big family to be all around me.
I think I'll give up on me,
sometimes....

"Please make it go away!"  I say,
he can't,
and so he turns away.
Our future we cannot see,
afraid to dream,
afraid for me.

Going through the motions,
trying to do what's right.
Tried all the magic potions,
but  too much DNA's twisted up too tight.

Now I'm hurtin and bleedin all of the time!
Doctor says its gotta go, this womb of mine.
Adenomyosis, got into me, says I'll be fine.
But, no more babies! don't you see
I was not finished with my family!

I dont want to, but I know
I gotta go.
Now its gone,
still ***-ing
Now I'm not healin' right!
Its depressing.....

8 weeks now,  still not released
and the mourning has not eased
Anger abounds when i awake
but I can't eat,
so then I shake.

So I just cry,
and blessed be,
ask God, Jesus and the angels
to have mercy on me

In the dugout
Bases are loaded
he's up to bat
he swings and it's
a line drive up third.

Then it's first base
second base
third base
and sliding into home.

Afterwards I am amazed
at the trash and litter that abounds
that humans can do this to a place
it astounds.

In my disgust I look up
there you are still glowing from
the play,
looking at me as if to say
your next.

We walk a while
we talk a while
I learn about the game
I need a chair
the dugouts there

An awkward pet
my ******* wet
he lays me back on the bench

he rubs me there
hasn't a care
of when or where i've been
just drops his pants
and starts the dance
of an innocents last chance.

Pushing the wall with his toes,
helps it to get where it goes good again
poking my eye with his nose
its over as awkward as it began

He goes in a rush
leaves me in a flush
wondering what it was all about
left all alone with sorrow
the soreness will be better tomorrow
I'll try not to pout
and in PE dress out

Yellow butterflies
are flitting all around me,
I never see them touch the ground, see
their always whisked this way and that,
and they really seem ok with that.

I see them in the most unlikely places,
from sewers to castles,
ball fields and home bases.
They always go just where their blown
the wild wind seems to be their home.

They appear in all weather and all seasons
they've have had to harden,
they've had their reasons,
to multiply so well in our concrete garden.

I wonder sometimes of their motivation?
Is it to breed? to eat? go on vacation?
but then what would the point really be?
When your final day is only three.
Wouldn't life just be a haze
of noise, cacophony and rays?

Well it will be, what it will be,
but next time you see a yellow butterfly
light on a tree, think of me
and wonder why you strive...
as the yellow butterfly thrives
as the wind from your car
whips it to and fro right on by..

Peacefull lying there
engaged in your slumber
watching your warm glow of love
effect your surroundings like no other

Taking in your essence
addicted to your smell
your eyes flutter
my senses reel
Oh! the way you make me feel.

Your warmth and sweetness
open hearted and pure
A dream come true
one that will endure

Joy like no other
a new leaf on the old family tree
a chip off the old block
An answer to prayers
for me