wonder why things are the way they are
doesn't make sense to me

days feel like a blur now
dreaming of the days I was a child

stressed out
tearing off my skin

dry hands
and chapped lips

A hard sneeze forces you to cross your legs tight,
And hope for the best.
5/10/2020

it seems to be the quiet moments
the unspoken actions
that build the foundation
of who we are

it is only the time behind
closed doors and drawn curtains
that prove you to be
whatever you may be

I am sitting in a pool of my own confliction
wondering if losing you
is worth gaining the love I desperately crave

I've spent so long
debating on taking the leap that
I haven't noticed the water
has reached my mouth

now I am drowning
and unable to say anything at all

I am terrified you'll disappear
I know I shouldn't rely so
heavily on you
but I can't go back to how I was before

not when you gave me a reason
not when you are my reason

you haven't answered my calls in a few days
it shouldn't mean so much
but when the phone line lay empty,
i told the trees all about you through my tears
i left out the part where i said 'i love you' first
because i still pretend it was you

the moon listened when the trees went to sleep
and i asked her if she could keep a secret
she said she could, but i know she told the stars anyway
i whispered real quiet, so the wind couldn't carry it too far away

i'd love you, even if you broke me