why am i filled with so much anger?
why am i wasting away my life
**** everyone
bend them over and make em feel like i do
i call it tough love
alcohol never solved anything except someone's temporary stall

i hate myself
i love my self
i fathom of standing on building edges
i dream of defying gravity with my jump.....
but dreams are just dreams....
and not reality. :)

radiate that direct sunlight
make my pupils dilate until my whole iris is consumed
spf 50 is no match for this sun
i need spf 2 ***** fudging hundred
tan me like a hash brown
fry me like pancake batter
let me soak up that skin cancer and i'll enjoy the days
where i laugh and play and maybe that's why i was too blind to see you were right there
i was consumed by the light in front of me when you were my shade

i'll never lie to you

i have a friend
he sits by the shoreline uneasy
shells borderline her feet
too afraid to get his feet wet
but she dives in merely after one breath
they walk among the skyline into a brighter hue
but hue heffner is sitting eating sphagetti
and there isn't any time to play
that's because your watch is broken...
so they wander aimlessly into the unknown
just to make it theirs so others
can't dive in
but instead cannonball
and i never knew it would be so hard to not feel alone
but with me you don't have to
hide because there will always be sounds in the airwaves
like my wind through your sound tunnel
and then i knew that i had a real friend
goldfish
go fish
first hit
makes me sick
why does life turn out like this
hopefully nothing stays in remiss
except that hopeful wrist
tat i saw you turn
did you always learn
how to be so gorgeous
shiver me timbers my room is a freezer
someone pass me the sushi
redistributed inside my liver

here's a picture
look in to the infrastructure of the fine frame
the outer border allures inward
vertices crosshair a centroid
the fine pigmentation due to stencil work and rich bold dabbing of acrylic paints merge to formulate images
blending, mashing, complementation of colours
azure, zyon, topaz, vermillion
i see a puddle and my interpretation is my reflection
i see a disemboweled figure who's ****** features exclaim "out of proportion"
bold petal ears, swelling rose cheeks, wrinkled eyes and a protruding thorn of a nose
i see beauty as the people in the painting smile back and joyfully prance
we laugh together as we see the same thing...people stuck in a frame watching the work of others pass them by as they remain idle for their idols

i wake up to the sounds of the birds chirping
the tractor groaning
the winds supporting the endless street alleys
the sensation of waving grass
dogs barking as the conductor
and a friend voicing get the **** up already

******* assbitch :)

touch me just enough to awaken a tingling sensation
brush your soft fingers yet long polished nails along the canvas of my body
a shade of sapphire blue
- gems on all fingers yet you bear no rings -
paint me an image that is invisible yet imprinted through frail motions
paint me an image that the blind can see, the mute can reiterate and the deaf can transcribe
we speak braille reading off each others pages
"love, misguidance, illiterate"
you are a book and i am awaiting to place my bookmark deep along the spine of your paperback.

with every breath you take you inhale a part of my soul
atoms lifting off my face through your windpipe in layers shed like graphite
dyson vacuums are amateurs compared to you
**** me off
black holes don't **** like you do
who ever wants a brainfreeze keep ******* cause you got nothing on her
i get turned on and then you **** me off
i give your oral presentation a B-
the breeze on my pole liberates all tension
i am ***** as buildings have balconies
i am ***** as kites catch wind
i am ***** as pens drip fine, bold, rich ink from their well crafted, metallic, ornamental tips  
i bust all my bad habits on to you, you make sure they never hang around too long, not to get affixed  ...just a taste satisfies
you go as deep as the magnificent swimmers of the ocean
you go as deep as lightsabers do through rebel ****
you go as deep as words cut the pillars fortifying self esteem monuments
nice.

i hate that girl
she's the flower who i sacrificed all my drinking water for
she's the sun so welcoming i could not stop staring until i became blind
she's the song that overplayed on my record and i lost track of my music library
she is the innocence i could not see tragedy in
she is a friend but i am no ally
i love that girl
i lovED her

Tie me up and keep me infused to the chair as vines blueprint walls.
Dangle your threads in front of me and lash me with whips which cut the air like knives....i never minded paying a few tolls.
Laugh hysterically so we can share this sense of humor because we all know karma haunts.
When these ropes which restrain me are cut by the intensity of your lashes i'll be the last one who taunts.

i came onto this site because of you
and now i've been cut off from the entirety of you
you have left my sight entirely
you and narcotics reoccur in my thoughts daily....funny no one mentioned girls would give me withdrawal symptoms
i tormented you with a guilt trip, but i am guilty of tripping on my own set backs as a constant reminder of that which i don't want to be reminded
your land, exploring with you i have newly marked it

you are so beautiful...yet you deny it...it's like denying gravity...we all know it's there.
the colourblind person may not be able to see red, but i stare at this apple for evidence.
your eyes sparkle like the glimmer of a snowflake
diamonds don't refract as much light as your eyes
alluring (hot) like a burst of magma spewed out of a volcano
you are calm and listen...listen to me...you listen.

σχίζω (greek) must ****..i'm trying to understand, but i can't walk a mile in your shoes because i only wear flip flops/
who would walk a mile in platforms...the stage is yours.

honk honk

my voice echoed through the vacant corridor
my words amplified through the metallic mesh of the mic
my syllables accented as my mouth developed the shape of speech
my letters admired by the readers who never failed to narrate
p.s.
the tone of speech is a definition on its own
period

maybe we can share,
this troublesome feature known as a dare
i dare us to pull out all our hair
give it to cancer victims who's medical side effects scared

the petrified and kept them shook
right now i feel as still as an inukshuk
hard rock and chiseled features
for sure that cheerleader would admire me from the bleachers

so bleach my hair and then let nature pigment my skin
for brighter shades may cause me to shed this exoskeleton of a tin

what good are wings to a butterfly which cannot emerge from its cocoon
what good are radios to someone who is incapable of hearing
what good is sunlight to a plant which lacks chloroplasts
what good is chocolate to a mouth infested with cavities
what good is empathy to a serial killer
what good is $5 to a millionaire
what good is a brick to a foundation made of wood
what good is a blocked number

the wings are an embellishment
the radios are silent frequencies
the sunlight is a spotlight
the chocolate is a reminder
empathy is the cure
$5 is a charitable cause
the brick is furnishment
it is a reason to move on

what good is negativity
it is a reason to promote positivity

i do not empty my wallet this day or dive into my bank account
because the time i spend with you is priceless
i do not buy you roses or chocolates as a gesture of my affection
because you will understand that when you are blanketed in my arms

i cry because i cannot see you do to unlikely circumstances
the verdict says go downtown and find another to release your masculine desires upon
but i desire none other than you

tonight you are the one who holds my heart...you are also the one cutting off its circulation
but with every pulse you are not aware of
just know nothing can beat this feeling
and only one of us can feel this beat

i play guitar because it expresses what i cant
it's second nature and i love it
the notes are words and i just choose the words to phrase my sentence
it cries in high pitches and growls in the bass
my strings don't break but communication barriers do.
i like being technical because it's a unique appeal
it has variety

i'd cry for help but these days i can't cry
i'd ask for your assistance but it seems like i'm losing my voice
i'd go to the clinic but it seems that all the appointments are booked
i'd take pills.......NOOOOO i don't medicate
i'd move out of harms way but i'm too petrified to do so
i just realized my actions are harms way.
i'm not going to run away from my self

you cut me off...

like a ****** does their blood supply...just give me a hit
like a rock climber does to an unnecessary weight
like a cell phone signal going through a tunnel...this provider *****...can you hear me now?
like a chef does to the unwanted edge of an onion...no one eats this **** lol
like an ADHD child hyped on sugar does to their surrounding others
like the zoo does to animals from their native habitat
like a **** would a family from their loved ones
like a barber would to a hippie asking for a fresh fade...hold on let me just take some acid, forget to shower and protest against human rights...right on man
like a serial killer from their emotions
like a surgeon would to an untreated tumor harnessing a body part
like a TV station does to a failed pilot no one laughs at....HAHAHA not funnnyy...hilariouuuss

you cut me off....but i don't know if i can let go.

temptation the salivation....steaks running wild in our imagination
not the child from the third world country they dreams of rice and clean water, suffering from stomach inflammation
no more hesitation
regrets never earn commemoration, but persevere via faulty dedication

don't hesitate just act.....because then the outcome will be exact, that's a fact we remember in countless situational drafts

there is the draft of the cold breeze, she quivers at her knees as i whisper warm air into her ear canal, she smiles due to a warming sensation which intrigues
ear canal turned into an air tunnel resembling the structure of a funnel that we take for granted
my words produce air currents
harsh winds torment us as hurricanes wreaking havoc on all life and sound structures
gentle breezes persuade us to befriend the outdoors and our surroundings
initiate relief and relaxation
breezes accumulate into strong winds escalating into hurricanes
be careful not to let a breeze take hold of you; for we never know where the wind truly goes

i dare not to unleash a tempest upon my tranquil waters because i know i will be it's final victim

i like pudding pops,
stopped by the cops until people drop from bottom to top
hip hop the land of the shops where people roam around in lofts
laura croft
laura secord
charlie sheen on ramblin notes
chocolate
pocket book take another look at the missing pages where the cover ages
spells of sages used against friendly wages and devious mages
turn the pages
page 1
page 2
page 3
page 4
too many galore for

she's killing me....but she's not even in arms reach

sometimes i just want the **** kicked out of me
i want my arm twisted and pushed as i yell PLEASE STOOPP
i want to hear the crackling of my bones are slowly converted to a sudden percussive snap
i want to hear the tearing of my muscle fibers and see it like ripping apart fine strings of yarn
i want you to kick me until internal bleeding seems like an everyday thing....kinda like saying hi to your neighbor
i want my organs rearranged, my liver can be in the region of my brain and my brain can be used to play keep ups with my foot (like soccer)
i want you to take my face and pulverize it against concrete/brick until its fine bone and then it's just the friction between hard calcium and limestone
and when i plead for MERCYYY PLEEASE i want you to call an accomplice and use their hands to torment me as well
light me with kerosene and matches and watch me burn and my skin blister.....and then i want you to put me out just to give me hope....and then reignite the initial flame
i want you kick me in the ***** so hard they invert into ovaries.
i just want to find peace.
but i don't want you to **** me....i just want to be taught a lesson for my outrageous, provocative actions.
maybe then i will be humble
maybe then i will be pure.

if i die at least all my impurities will die with me or will they live on in the actions of others.
can we ever be pure?

i like **** of all sizes
no matter the shape we always make compromises
they're all generally hidden behind brassiere disguises
embellishing decorations that cover up glamorous prizes

i always got milk on hand
secreted from those voluptuous mammary glands
some may say they feel like water balloon brands
silicone addition seems like an unnecessary plan

honey nut oats with those titttiiiesss!

my brain is reprogramming
short circuit on the mother board
this technician has got it sorted out
he never pulls the cord

i feel free with clarity occupying my mind
nothing on it but the perception of my demolished confine
i am a free man, i step away from judgement
the thoughts of others occupying my will to be content

the content they scroll
holy scrolls gave me a toll
i seek purity
what i seek has been here all along

I love you and I hate you to oblivion
You're so beautiful but sometimes I want to see you cry and hurt
I don't ever want to see you cry
You the woman who never comes
Psychotic ***** we may both say, but i never want to put you down
I want to sniff every inch of you
Kiss every body part
Nourish every emotion
You have me in your malicious game of dice but I seem to keep rolling snake eyes
I'll eye you like a snake and constrict you with my scaly coil right before I unleash my venom to your slow painful death
And in those moments I will wish I never did that ....
But I will also look at you with fierce eyes and let you know, now you know how I feel
Hurt , abandoned , decieved
All because I loved her and she didn't love me
My life is dull these days
Some may say it's just a bit Jaded

you have harpooned me
launched your sphere deep beyond the surface of my flesh
you created your own tunnel in a cave unexplored
i have become lacerated
the harpoon pulls my skin upon removal like a cobweb slowly being peeled off of a neglected wall
red dye drips at my feet, dye rich with iron, dye displaying a pigment of vermillion
i think 'I needed my shoes coloured anyways..' as my vision fades in and out
images become blurry, losing their fine, defined borders
becoming obscure visions
resembling underdeveloped photos in the dark room
to let go and let my soul linger freely,
perhaps this was the cure all along

OR

perhaps i should yank that harpoon free
fling it back to the source which it came
with my own two hands and two eyes
aim
wind back
release
one measly cut will not define who i am
I am victorious and my soul is with me
here.
to stay.

i smoke ****.
from time to time it takes off the stress
the stress of trying
the stress of waiting
the stress of expecting
but at times my head seems to compress,
like the media around a corrupt member of congress
like the callused grip of a bodybuilder on an etched dumbbell
like scrap metal in the claws of a machine
like the walls slowly closing in on the random superhero
blood pressure builds as my veins throb
my sanity robbed
my thoughts lobbed
but new thoughts replace the others
like THC with the pride a child once gave his mother

I have entered a new reality
evolved in spirituality
although i have left behind compatibility of being
i have new ways of seeing
a visionary
this vision is airy
i am fatigued i am fatigued
time to hit another bowl
time to let anxiety harness my soul
let anxiety cloak me but i shall not let it devour me whole

spontaneous thoughts and entropic actions
but when i rely on my sole self is when i reach true satisfaction.
with the high i lose all traction
with sobriety i gain much love and attraction
but sometimes it's nice to go off the road into unknown terrain
because unknown terrain may be a new road to discover on its own

I like sobriety and being high
i highly enjoy being sober
being high is ludicrous
but then again i'd be a fool to say i wasn't crazy

The officers extorted his report
He had no evidence when he took the case to court
'Guilty as charged your verdict comes short!'
Before 25 years he drowned himself at port

To the girl who was beautiful and borrowed my soul
I think about you every day
You are an illusion to me, a mirage in the distance
I wish to be a father, have a son, but you are the holy spirit
A serious glare, followed by a subtle stare, moving my lips if i only dared
You awaken kingdoms and bring forth wars
Troy would take 15 arrows to the ankle for you
Eyes as captivating as a black hole luring light
You are the light in my day, you make me smile
But as I no longer see you, my torch's embers dim to ashes

Plain and simple

I wish she was plain and simple , the opposite of what many seek in life
I would like to see her run through planes and her dimples when she smiles
Recently I do not see her smile
Recently I do not see her dimples
Recently I do not see her

As people, only we can help ourselves, and I must help myself move on before I move in
I must help myself glorify life and celebrate it before I am consumed by a memory of what was
Before I am engulfed by the fire which I ignited
Before I am devoured by the tigers which I had raised

In time She will help herself as well, all I can do is wait. Time will lift this weight.