I wrote previously about the electronic implications on the written word
But the smoothness of this pen upon paper has made me neutral on the subject
It's insanely intoxicating when your words flow onto the paper just as they do from your mind
Uninterrupted
But, death has a way of bringing you back to reality
A birthday, In which the birth boy has passed
Twenty four red balloons, caressed gently by the wind as they are carried beautifully skyward.
Red of passion
Red of love
Because twenty four is infinite
Also is the love and the friends you left behind
But we love you,
I love you
And we will forever follow you
Upon these rising currents
Like those twenty four red balloons.

We ran across streams of moonlight
Racing each other in a childlike excitement
Mine stemming from the newness of this
Yours from the injected high you gave yourself

Through the woods, we raced
The moon playing hide and seek with our eyes
With every step, we learned more
Lacing words together you gifted them to me

We stopped just short of the deeper end
Stepping into a shimmering pool of moonlit rays
Clearing our minds of doubts and inhibitions
You stepped forward and offered me your hand

Your fingers hung in front of me
A hopeful promise of something…. More?
But I took a sudden step backward
The claws of my dark past holding me firm

You pulled me in though with determination
Letting your lips rest against mine in hope for a change
But with controlled fingers, I pushed you back
A smile gracing yourself as you let me go

“I will wait” you promised
Unknowingly binding your soul with mine
We walked back calmly now, more aware of everything
Arms linked and words shared while I struggled to still hold back

Next morning I woke up in a hasty excitement
Last nights hesitancies left behind in my dreams
Walking up to breakfast trembling in a crazed nervousness
Yet once again, fear seized me and I stayed away

This dance continued, endlessly
One reaching out to the other desperately
Searching for a reminder of that moonlight run
Sighing in regret at our human insecurities

Tired of the worlds of confusion we brought alive
We stepped away, never giving hope to a dream
One we both once dreamt in unison
Tracing it across eachothers' arms with starry promises

It was too late we reasoned
The world after all, didn’t give second chances to such wishes
Shooting stars avoided us as a sign of our failure
So we scrubbed away the burning fires we had once traced

Now, we lay in the arms of others
Looking up at plain ceilings in search of our lost stars
Wondering the dreaded ‘What Ifs?’
Sleeplessly racing back to our dreamy havens of you and me

So close but barely meeting as we stumbled through life
Holding close harsh rocks that couldn’t compare to our burning stars
Forging forward in a crazed determination to forget
Only at moonlight looking up to secretly whisper unheard confessions

A gentle whistle of letters let flow
Ignored by the trillions of slumbering bodies
Only eavesdropped upon by the creak of sneering branches
But lapped up by the moon in an endless waiting of..

Does the sun rise and scorn
All the dreams I think I saw?
Or does it care?

Does it want to help me bear
The loss of something I never had,
But through rose-coloured spectacles
I clearly saw?

Does it shine, or smirk
When it sees me pleading with the night
Not to go away, and begging all my dreams
To come with me into the day?


Are you light, or dark Sun?
Are you my tormentor,
Or my friend?
(Gerry Aldridge 2016)

Eyes lift
Controlling the heart's release of breath
The none constricting motion of the lungs
Emotion shown through listening ears
The heart now following what the eyes see
No longer a grunt made by tight motions
Seeing it's belief,
Straining the strange euphoria strung by tendons and muscles
The gift of giving one emotion to another
Nothing is as problematical as we present it
Unclear changes unselfish in the manner given
This sensation made in haste
To whom this particular change
This nursery of voice that calmly lulls the suggestion of peace
The suggestion of need
of consideration
The improvement of self in order to give
In order to love another as you love yourself
The existence of infatuation opinionated.
Still asking the enlightenment of eyes
The foresight of heart to give in the eye of love
The humble abode of running along without restraint
Free as breath
Feeling the state of complete togetherness
Eyes close
In the most relaxed state
Relaxed in the embrace of knowing
Feeling
Believing

I feel like nothing when you touch me
Parts of me flaking away
Being carried away in the winds that you control
carrying them places I am not allowed to find

I feel heartbroken
Every time you take a piece
Not even examining it before crushing it on the floor
Making me feel crazy for wanting attention or to be read

Picking apart my every thought
Making me feel it should be my last
making me feel nauseous at the sound of my own voice
Making me want to throw up everything I ever said to you

I am wrong
Always wrong
I am nothing
Always nothing.

to you.

Sometimes the kindest word, is no word at all.
When an insult kisses your inside lip,
Swallow it back like a bitter pill-
What you can't handle, he sure can't,
Love tests your patience like none other can.

Silence is no synonym for chronic neglect
Space and time aren't just for a Physics test
Don't work on overdrive, give your brain a rest,
God gave us words to express the unknown-
But quiet souls are happy with what they know.

Fight fair, fight strong, but mind what you say
You're not drunk, nor are you insane
Shout till your lungs resound and explode
Still, with every morsel of restraint you can spare
Shelter the heart that hurt you, because that's where you stay.

Be mindful of feelings- take it easy, take it slow
Its easy to point one finger, but where are the other four?
Blame is a vicious game that you're losing too, girl,
Life isn't dominoes, you can't always pick up what fell.
That dagger is sharp, it leaves an ugly mark, but remember-
No one bulldozed their home when the light switch didn't work.