You plant all day in your made up garden
You bury me in all the dirt
And then you refuse to give me a pardon

I never said a word you think
Please remove the mound from me
If I'm not removed I think I'll sink

I choke on crap you threw about
You shovel more dirt into my mouth
Stop this pointless grudge you lout

How dare you turn your back on me
I will get lost in this stupid ocean
I'm starting to drown in your dirt sea

I did not say the thing you said
And by the time you forgive me
I will be several years dead

Stop shoving dirt into my throat
I can take  it but you won't
I'll give it back and you might choke

So stop this pointless tiff
I won't tolerate anymore
Put an end to your stupid ****

She braided her nuclear hair back
tight
after she has woken up and smiled at him.
She was prodigiously happy, but
she was more sorrowful
than they would ever know
That made her tear her hair,
leaking reactants into the unstable
environment like
water drip
dripping
from the leaky tap.
That noise drove her to insanity.
drip
drip
one two
three they
drip
drip d r i pd r i p d ri p Dr i P d R I P
she
felt the nuclear waste
run from her eyes
d
r
I
p
P
i
n
G tears, running down hollow cheeks,
but she was the
happiest girl
in the world—her tears were
rose-tinted glasses    but
     no one knew

The crowd cheers at you
as you play slowly in a beat
and now i hear
the faint sound of tortured memory.
Do you know what it is?

Memories I have created
stronger than reality itself
leaving me breathless, soundless -
so refreshingly alive.

As your voice shimmers in rays of light
filling these ears of mine
clasping my heart;
tearing to a thousand pieces.

Torturing me evermore
as my head spins down memories
I feel but never felt.
This music so haunting and so enchanting
makes me weep with such divine joy.
How can someone have such a voice?

Take me decades away from now
**** me softly
make my heart stop a beat
make me want to weep,
eat myself inside out
so beautiful; so engulfing.

Please know, darling
that as you
                 slip
into your soul's abyss
my light will fill up
your darkness
like a spirit's starlit kiss
for the depth
of the black
and the distance
           mean nothing
when it comes to
           love
only our inner stars
determine what
is inside and above
So as in this chant,
                 this prayer
                     this hymn
                            of my essence
I cast forth the forces
that will make
known
    my presence
for my inner soul's nectar
is sweet water
in a state of
ever-flowing
     sometimes even tripping
      into the lip
         of your vessel
    without you
even knowing    
I am here in all ways
    except a single one
     that to look in your eyes
   is a dream rough-spun  
for aye, that physical
     has its limits,
           nonetheless
but still, from here
right into your being
          I press
my heart beating
           strong
my mind's whispers
            wild
as my fingers
stroke the hair
of your inner child
so come rest your head,
       right here,
     on my chest
Feel the tiny
quakes
that take place
as we let ourselves rest
from the world outside
from the demons within
melting the lines
of despair,
now rice-paper thin
        And our intense need
to love
and be loved
   is the true healing balm
      and now our
spirits rise up
in the night's
      lip-brushed
psalm

Looking back on how it all crumbled
Now that the dust has settled
It still looks the same
The same jagged, torn, scalding cuts
Sliced into my flesh with a glance
No clinical approach to it
Just a peek, and it burns like hell
A lingering, slow burn
Like the chemical variety.
Fitting, considering your chemistry.

There's no other way to see it.
Your choices that weekend
Still echo in the caverns of my veins
And on slow mornings like this one,
I can't breathe for the striking,
Astringent slap in the face it still is
Like being thrown into an ice bath.
And here I still lay,
Floating like an ice cube, frozen
Asking the same questions:

Why?
And
How could you?

The faeries are out today
I can feel then tickling my skin
Riding zephyrs like kites
Dancing on the branches
Rattling leaves like maracas
Crooning like sirens in the alleys
Hear them howl

Fall is on its way

I did something wrong
this day, last fall
The October wind took my breath away
I did something *****
this night, last fall
The autumn leaves swept my confidence away
The flickering memories still disturb my somber sleep from time to time

I did something brave
this spring, 6 months ago
March carved out the pieces I let cement in the cold
I did something bold
this spring, 6 months ago
I got up and left, chains still digging at my ankles


But I left,
I did a lot of things wrong,
I have the scars to prove how hard I held on.
But I left,
I did something right.