ever been a ***** or a ******?
i have. and other names
mostly given.

ever been a scapegoat?
i have. been a toy
to the hatfields and the mccoys.

any ink of brain leakage
taken to the sawbone
stitches over stitches
on my lips sewn by my own hands
the sands of time have passed, slow
as they can fall --

blood from rips goes on the walls
smear memories on the old ****
to make a little sense of the prison
in which i was living

make a little bit of sense of my enemies
apparently, i choose to ride the prisms
of a prison to the coffin, as i'm better use dead
but what kind of exit is a bullet to the head?

tell you, it's a mess, what it is

all this time, i've yet to come to terms with certain words
for instance, design, and all of its nuance
how do i design in true
when i am a shard of
azure experience in the
endlessness of midnight blue?

all this time, i've yet to call my good form to return
for instance, my designs, and all the nuances --
the water drains, shallow now,
from my composition,
as if i'm the desert, when once,
i was my own oasis.

reflection is a given. still,
how can i reflect this ill
in good faith, when the
poisonous sick saw my
leg up ascend into ruins?

portal space is open,
in a purple swirl,
and I'm
****** back into a world

on the brink of an advent
toward some higher mind,
with a blessed perspective,
this recollection's wretched.

Levity was a given,
for mortality ignored.
What to do with levity,
with mortality accepted,
and endings implored.

last laugh always wins
(where are your friends?)
have been deemed unnecessary
everlasting grin
(how off have you been?)
have i?

no. have i?

what's it gonna take to get this bad brain
back on the right of the left hand black?
nothing will. nothing will.

what's it gonna take to get this bad brain
back on the right track to get connected
with the rest of them?

nothing will. bad brain bad.

take a poor, fat, spiced chocolate kid
from its welfare house
put it in a program with rich kids,
tell it it can be just like that,
if it learns critical thinking,
logical reasoning, communication,
and problem solving.
can it?

[falls asleep in a dumpster]

Apathy is rather dangerous
Isn’t it?
I just don’t care.
Not sure I want to care
I could do anything
Because it wouldn’t matter
If you don’t worry about others
You can do whatever you please
Danger, warnings, signs
Utterly meaningless!
Feels rather free.....
When emotion dies
When your chest grows cold
Heartbeat sickeningly steady
Breaths a bit too even

Do I run to pleasure?
Find myself a lovely vice
Intoxicating, sensual, invigorating
To awaken my spirit

Perhaps pain will do
Play with the little silver toy
The one with the sharp tip
Jarring and thrilling

Take some risks
Cause why the hell not?
Shock loved ones
Laugh at their concern for you

When the heart turns to stone
Anything, everything
Is fair game

So, what shall I do with mine tonight?