Reading and writing at midnight
Never help me sleep
I breathe, I cry then I stop
And then start to think
Its 1am and I don’t know
When I’ll drift away
As time flies by I reach a hand
But it’s always the same
I cannot breathe
I cannot scream
I feel the words in my throat
They won’t come out
And by tomorrow I’ll start to choke
But don’t judge me
For your thoughts are your own
I won’t hold them against you
And you should know
That I stayed there
Always waiting for you
Now it’s too late
And I’ve gone away
I couldn’t stand living I the pain

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

One more moment
Is all it takes
Eyes met eyes
And the souls fuse
such as quick drying cement.
both hearts beating as one
A beautiful rhythm
A song speaks
singing the words of our love
Together, we need not say a word.
As we feel peaceful.
As our souls take flight
LIke the White-winged Dove.

I want to hold his hand
I want to call him mine
He says not tomorrow
But if not then, than when

between you and me,
i'm still rooting for us.

maybe not in this lifetime,
but in the end.

I struggle with that fact
That I Mr. Sly
Have a target on my back
And everyone around me reacts
To the lack
Of hat tricks I have
But I can only score
Once more
Or so I think
I'm on the brink
Of desperation
The frustration
Is killing me
My mind is killing me
There's no healing me
Dopamine is my drug and its filling me
But it starts to flood
There's to much
I'm losing my mind with a brush
Of her lips
Its a kiss
Its a lie
In my mind
I scream I'm fine
But I realize
That's a lie
Its about time
I come to grips
With all of this
The blatant ticks
As the hands twist
But they do more than turn
They ****** and they burn
The grab and they yearn
For what is not theirs
With their mechanical gears
They latch on to my fears
I can feel their stares
Boring holes into my mind
Oh these hands of time

Sometimes when I'm high I float
But not too far off the ground
But at times when I'm sober, I choke
I find it hard to keep the words down

Usually, it's not bad I don't even notice
Then I'm alone and it's all that I notice

These days I barely have a sober day
Afraid of the pain that doesn't exist
Lurking in the shadows barely at bay
I chased it away and yet it persists

I fight for no man yet I am fighting forever
In fear I plan yet I haven't put it together

I change on a whim and with no intent
You can't see when I see the loathing
I challenge the fact that I am spent
With a test that I myself had not chosen

Don't second guess the choice to choose
One slip of a tongue, the question is who's