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Raiden Crow Nov 2017
It seems to me
That many people nowadays
Only want blind loyalty
From other people
They don't want
To be questioned
They don't want
To be told they are wrong
They just want
People who never question anything
That they do
And I say that is B.S.
Because believe it or not
The people who really care
Who truly love you
The ones you can really trust
Are the ones not afraid to tell you
"You are being dumb."
Because you can trust to know
They aren't lying
Real friends are the ones who will look you dead in the eye and call you on your crap. They don't just stand idly
  Nov 2017 Raiden Crow
Aisha Ella
His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.
  Nov 2017 Raiden Crow
needing you, wanting you.
what’s it gonna take to get over you?
why you make it so hard to move on from you?
why I gotta fight to take my heart from you?
you know **** well it don’t belong to you..
it can’t belong to you.
we both know why, but everyday these feelings are getting harder to deny.
this thing goes deep & I don’t wanna hide.
the only thing I wanna be is by your side.
but you already have your baby.
so maybe it’s only me going crazy.
promised I would never leave you.
I mean, how could I deny you?
my homie & my best friend,
down to ride to the very end.
I feel like we’re Sean & Jhené;  destined to be together some day.
but if I’m wrong, I pray these intimate feelings go away.
because maybe we’re Pac & Jada; it’ll never be goodbye but always see you later.
because if I’m bound to be your friend for the rest of eternity,
then I promise to love you forever platonically and passionately.
hidden thoughts.
  Nov 2017 Raiden Crow
i dreamt about you last night,
i woke up feeling lost and empty;
why is it that after so long,
my subconscious still thinks about you?

what a coincidence it was,
when i saw a glimpse of you in the mall,
was it even you?
or simply a fragment of my imagination?
i turned around to dodge your line of sight;
i wanted to pretend i was never there.

seeing you again,
made me drown in emotions,
i thought i got rid of.
i remember the late nights,
the thoughts of you,
me trying to let you go,
and i really thought i already have.

i'm sorry,
it seems as though,
you're still engraved in my heart,
i can't seem to push away the thought of you,
or the loneliness your memory brings me.

but here i am,
hugging the stuffed toy you once gave me,
at 11:11,
hoping that someday and somehow,
my wish,
would come true.
i don't know what i should feel about you. i miss what used to be you.
  Nov 2017 Raiden Crow
Julia Mae
i wrote poetry
he partied
i would overthink
he would oversleep
too lost within the oblivion
of trying to numb away
while i was here
thinking about "life" too much
writing about it too much
i enjoyed wine
on a quiet Tuesday evening
he enjoyed liquor
on a wild Friday night

love does attract
i loved him
and he loved me
but he didn't want to live
and i
wanted to write about it

we're sitting
in a ***** garage
blasting music
with lyrics
that i am so appalled by
this is his life
this is
it isn't mine

i am
the quiet
Tuesday afternoon girl
who writes her words
to figure out
while he is trying
to forget about his
on a Friday night

these lifestyles
we tried to clash
for far too long
so sadly
too long

i left
with love still
beating inside of my heart
because you could never
love me
the way you love
your Friday nights
like you couldn't love
my Tuesday evenings

love is so
and deceiving
it brought us to meet
we both understood
that life is sad
yet only i
could see its beauty

and our lifestyles
were too different
to sustain the life
for one another
I haven't written too much lately but this poured out tonight.
Raiden Crow Nov 2017
There is so much
So much in my head
So many things I wish I could say
I wish I could say to you
But I only have these thoughts
In certain moods of the day
In anger, I want to say:
That you act like immature teenager sometimes..
That sometimes the things you say just aggrivate me to no end..
That it makes me want to smash my head against a wall..
That you don't know as much as you think..
In sadness, I want to say:
That I miss seeing you
That I sometimes feel like I don't know you anymore
That I feel you drifting
That I feel I'm losing you
That you might already be gone...
In happiness, I want to say:
That you are one if the best things that ever happened to me
That I don't regret a thing with you
That all I want to do is sit with you and just talk the day away
That I love you...
But I can't
Because you aren't here anymore
And when you are its too brief to say it
And if I do, you might leave
So these can only stay as
Things I wish I could say..
So much jumbled in my mind... and no way to express it.... except with this.... and no one may see the message..
  Nov 2017 Raiden Crow
we are the lost souls,
wandering this lonely world,
searching for each other,
for the place where our dreams
collide with reality.
we are the dreamers,
daring to look to the sky
knowing in our veins
we are destined to fly.
we are born of storm and wind and fire.
created from chaos we are
meant to rattle the stars
we will bow to no one
apologize for nothing
and answer to none
save for the pounding
of our wild hearts.
carved from diamond
we are unbreakable,
with the taste of forever on our tongues
we burn so bright that the sun grows envious  
we will never be chained,
refuse to be contained
and may the gods help those
who dare to tie us down
for you cannot tame
that which is wild and free,
therefore you will never tame me.
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