I love you.
I said it.
I. Love. You.
please accept me.

To the ******* the bus that fateful day, to my old friend, to those who damaged me,
Thank you.
You made me realize that I can't be happy and one person scarred me.
To my old friend, she caused me to snap sorry.
To the girl that damaged me, you shaped me into this but I want to say thank you because you taught me to cry, hate, and hurt...
To the ******* the bus that fateful day, you told me that I was worthless and that made me think about who I am and not what I looked like.
I learned to care because of these people but I also learned how to numb everything out.
But it made me fall apart.
But thanks to you.
You filled me up with lies and truth.

I want to love someone but I simply can't love them.
What happened to my emotions?
I only feel numb with sadness.
I want to be happy for those who see me as a friend.
So I lie,
To myself,
And them.
Why?
I refuse to see the truth because I am scared.

Life never treated me far,
I ask too many questions.
Know too much.
Loved too little.

The other day a ******* the bus was talking to someone
She said, "If you can't see, hear or whatever, or don't have a limb, you should **** yourself." The other girl agreed with her and everyone on the bus started talking too.
Me, my brother, and one girl didn't agree with her.
Out of maybe 30 kids, only 3 of us didn't get involved.
The girl turned to me and said, "Like her, she should **** herself."
My brother didn't hear this...
"If that makes you happy, then I will. Because people like you make this world a living hell, so I would **** myself if that makes this world just a little better."
She laughed, and some other kids laughed.
The truth is that was the day that I lost my best friend to my anger.
I did try to **** myself that night and the night after that.
You shouldn't **** yourself if you are blind or deaf, or don't have an arm or leg.
This world likes to pick on people who seem weak.
But.
We are only weak if we give up that's why we have friends,
To hold us up.
Please don't be like the girl the other day.
Lift those people up,
The people that are not "Perfect"
Don't be like that girl the other day.

The best way to not have your heart broken;
Is to act like you have none.
And he picked her over me,
Now I will always be second.