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Q Jul 2014
We did friendship all wrong
We ****** it up and down and over
Six years of trying and it's still gone
We did it all wrong.

You're not on my list of 'Important Things'
And I'm nowhere on yours'
You're not a part of the songs I sing
We did it all wrong.

I'm not at your soccer games, even when I'm invited.
I'm never on your mind or your 'Recent Call' log
I'm not someone you remember or even miss.
We did it all wrong.

You don't read my poetry, even when I've linked it.
You don't speak to me the way you used to.
You don't like me or you hate me, I've not decided which.
We did it all wrong.

We did friendship all wrong.
We don't know each other anymore.
We're not forever, not even for long.
We did it all wrong.
Q Jul 2014
Bored.
Of people,
Of things.
Bored.
Of commitment,
Of flings.
Bored.
Of goings,
Of comings.

Bored.
Of smiles,
Of laughter.
Bored
Of crying,
Of sadness.
Bored.
Of anger,
Of madness.

Bored of everything because
Nothing that exists is just
Quite interesting enough,
Not on the ground or up above,
To secure attention in it's clutch
For longer than a portion of
A second.
  Jul 2014 Q
Austin Heath
So I had to put some effort into
finding things I regret these days,
but it wasn't too hard coming from
a bitter mindset.
Come to think of it,
I regret many years of my life,
even if I don't regret the people.
Sincerely wish that wasn't the case,
but whatever, right?
Pour me another glass of anything,
I think I'm drinking anticoagulants
these days, but remembering
is so **** painful,
I forget...
The numbers on these pencils,
so I switched to ink;
Now I cover up the mistakes
I used to erase.
Now when you call me
I don't answer quite
the same way I used to.
Now when people look
for me, they find me lost
or wandering somewhere
I really shouldn't be.
Sitting in living rooms
with pictures of people
who aren't smiling.
Fix me a drink!
No, fix the one in my hands,
or the one in the back of my
skull.
"Fix something already",
he said, comprehending
the wounds were indeed
fatal already, yet eventually.
Regret is a poison  you drink with with your mind. You won't be a happy drunk.
Q Jul 2014
Your effort to save me was three words long
As though years of bitterness could be rectified
With a superficial, overdone, idiotic phrase...
So that you could at least say you "tried."

It's pathetic how the words tickle the back of my throat
Always waiting to spill onto the nearest sympathetic ear
And even more so pathetic that they are never said...
Because I'm convinced you won't say what I want to hear.

It is in your ignorance that you reach out to shattered people
Without recognizing the barbed wire around them
And you'd be infected with their plague with the slightest *****...
I hope you're infected, I hope you end up broken.

You're not above this. You're not.
You pretend to be just as okay as we do
You're not some miracle healer; not godsend
I hope you realize we, every single one of us, hate you.
  Jun 2014 Q
Austin Heath
When people ask if you're weird, or tell you,
or want to believe themselves strange,
eclectic, or odd.
It's vaguely disgusting to me,
cringeworthy in a mild degree.
We think we're so different,
but we are not.
The individualism of people
should be and is comparable
to the individualism of ants.
Who looks at the anthill and
sees something in particular,
something behaving specifically
"uniquely"
from every ant and every anthill?
Why do you believe in yourself?
I see this, as a conversation about
depression, and your partner
does not respect you
but instead wants to
tell you how they feel worse,
or have it worse, or "understand" more
about the affirmation or situation.
A person looking for individuality
through a lens of misery, anguish, and sadness,
is truly alone in their minds, and missing the
reality that these depressions exist without them.
The statement, "you are not alone" is an attack,
or an offense to these people, because it says
"you are not as unique as you think",
it strips them of their identity and individuality.
This is true of many ideologies and affirmations.
I quit individuality, this constricting sense
of holding everything of yourself in center,
to be a drop in the whole, something fluid.
If you split your affirmations from yourself,
you'd see we're all the same;
Affirmations are just currents in the ocean.
I look at myself; and people see a man,
a radical feminist, and sometimes a musician.
As labels, these each have their own presupposed notions,
[especially, "man" or "male" in the patriarchal gaze]
which hardly, if ever, are true,
but as affirmations, when I consent to using them,
these are no longer stereotypes that constrain me,
but similarities that I realize
I can embrace or shut out in others.
Affirmations do not make me more unique,
but similar to more people.
If I remove these affirmations to try and get to my "true" center,
my purest form of self, I see I am without meaning.
This is why I quit Individuality.
  Jun 2014 Q
wes parham
To be strong,
You suppress emotions.

I revel in them.
Just a concept I'm rolling around in other drafts.
(Update: the draft has been released  )
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/745457/points-of-departure/
  Jun 2014 Q
Austin Heath
You are bad weather and
lightning striking for the second time
on a single target.
You are an illness,
a sore that never goes away.
You ruin things.
You ruin everything.
Even when you try to ruin one thing,
you mess that up and ruin another.
*******, it's a black comedy
and nobody can win it;
nobody can smile here.
Yeah, sure, you can't sleep tight in
your moral blankets, but can you
dance a two step holding onto
nothing but the skeletons in your closet?
I won't be grateful for anything now-
I won't be waiting anymore,
I can't keep up anymore,
not like this. If madness couldn't
keep it in place, now I'll wear sanity
and be all the more psychopathic for it.
You are as you are
and everything else
just exists, doesn't it?
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