I can't catch my breath
I can't grasp your death
Living on without you
I simply don't want to do

I can't stop the pain
I can't stop the rain
Pouring from my eyes
Every heart beat is a sigh

I can't stop the grief
I can't stop the disbelief
You're everywhere I look
You're not a chapter you're my book

Monkey's awake
Crawling on in
Just under the skin
He start to rake

Throw the switch
Hands start shaking
Feel the quaking
A growing itch

Self control wanes
He always wins
Know how it ends
With me not sane

Have you forgotten how this works
We get off in one big ****

You can not put me off for later
By then I will have become a fable

You must write when I command
On this fact I squarely stand

Even when sleep tries to steal you away
In your brain I still romp and play

I will make your tired body get up and write
For your brain is not that tight

The words will leak right out
You know that fact without a doubt

I know how important I am to you
So what I say, you will do

You will always do as I choose
For you can't live with out your muse

With you now gone
With no one to hold on
Emotions are mine alone
Mine to own

All alone I'll keep my secret
I know just where I'll keep it
I'll keep them in my pen, my ink
Deep into the paper I'll let it sink

This universe is so ******* cruel
Suffering here without you
You where my rock, my Dimond
Now who is all alone... Well I am

So I feverishly scratch, like cat with claw
I write it all out, big and loud on my wall
After I'm gone, maybe someone will read
Till that day my pen will still bleed

Way out here in outer space
Searching every distance place
The Moon's so cold without your embrace

I'm still here in flight
Way out past the satellite
Hoping one day we may reunite

Rising quickly is my frustration
Knowing for me there is no salvation
As I see your face in every  constellation

I can't see the silver lining
Even with all the stars still shining
Because all I can do is keep on crying

Loves resurrection is over due
So I will keep on searching for you
Just leave me a **** bread trail, a clue

Because on earth you'll never be again
My heart will never be whole, never mend
The death of everything is the wages of our sin



©Pauline Russell

The rain comes splattering in through my window, like a thousand cool tiny kisses

My skin glisten

It begins as the sun goes down in the coal black inky darkness of night

Layer of fright

Thunder so loud it rattles the windows, shakes the room

Sonic boom

Bright white hot lighting splits the night into

Darkness resumes

The rain pours down trying to drown everything, that's for certain

Glistening wet curtain

The wind is bending the trees to it's will, making house shingles fly

Look to the sky

Destruction is on the horizon, The finger of God is on the ground

No safe haven found

The funnel cloud again ascends into the heavens, leaving behind a shattered earth

What's the cost,the worth

The morning light brings silence, only the sounds of the mothers crying

The fathers sighing

Broken boards, tattered dreams, toppled trees

What's become of me

You'll find my body in the field, I road the winds, soul ripped from my mortal shell

**** up to heaven, thrown down to hell

©Pauline Russell

It doesn't matter how the world sees you
For the world is quite subdued
It set's the limit of what is acceptable
What is regrettable
What is transposable
What is disposable

All that matters is how the people in your life view you
Are you loud, are you crude
Are you brazen,are you rude
Or are you the voice that soothes

Do you do your very best
To make other's feel blessed
Even though your more than stressed
With your own life a ****** up mess

Do they see your strength, does it show
Even though your hope was gone long ago
Do you still brave each day
Fighting there, in the gray

Can they find the hope you lost
Do they see you go on, no matter the cost
Do they love you anyway
Even when your in the hole, do they stay
Stand beside you night and day
Love you, even when you're in the sway

When depression takes your hand
Leads you to it's lonely land
By you then, do they still stand
Do they hold you close, do all they can

Or do they scatter
Leavening you to feel you don't matter
Making you out to be the Mad Hatter

Can you take off your disguise
Will they think you unwise
Not to continue your "happy" lie
Can they withstand the agony and sorrow in your eyes

If you do, and they can't
There will be no need to feel bad and rant

For when you drop your mask you'll find
You simply had friends of the wrong kind
Then you can leave the others far behind
As new friends start to unwind

©Pauline Russell