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OJ Apr 2020
I'm not gonna lie
This is gonna be hard

I'm forever wandering along a cold windy shoreline
Staring at my feet as the waves try to grab my feet
My white dress flows in the wind
Staring at the beautiful lake Michigan and seeing a hint of blue among the mess of grey
The world has spent so much time trying to define me
Trying to take the light inside me
Sometimes figures talk me away from falling into the grey waves
But one day
I didn't care
And I fell in
And I saw everything
All my memories
And at the bottom of it all
Sat a sobbing teenage boy
His sweater was drenched in water and tears
He saw me
He saw me there
He saw me falling farther than him
I closed my eyes and hoped
And prayed it would be over soon
But then I felt something
A cold hand
Pulling me back to the shore

Maxwell was his name
And he is still here
Always with me
Now I no longer walk that shore alone
Every night
Every dream
Every nightmare
He is there holding my hand
Comforting me

Everyone needs a Maxwell
A cold hand to pull you back onto the shore when you fall in
A friend
A hero
A permanent part of who you are
Maxwell
Thank you for helping me
OJ Apr 2020
I sit on an island
In the middle of an ocean of equations
The island is sinking in the water
With nowhere to go
The tiniest island
With the worst person I know
It's awkward as hell
I will soon become desperate
To get away from him
So I stay away
The tiniest island
With the worst person I know
The waves become stronger
The waves become aggressive
He is approaching there's no where to hide
If I say the wrong thing
Or even look his way
He'll surely make me feel bad
OJ Apr 2020
Deep under the ocean
Of Sinful ambitions
Lie the fears I hide away
The storms inside are always there
My nightmares take flight
Let me not suffer alone

If I should be sent away
May the sun and moon
guide me back

I had fortune and power
Admiration wasn't my plan
Feared I was before
How the tides have turned
My spirit rots, my veins burn

I never loved them, but they were mine
Though we shared a space
Dare I show myself once more
And return to fighting for worthless trust

Curse my past actions
I have changed
I'd say

Yet here I am trying to take back what was mine
Behind closed doors
I have plotted my revenge on you

I will step forth
Who needs cooperation when you have plans for cessation
I don't need riches, fame pleasure
My soul has wandered
And yet I've grown stronger

They will follow me through the thunder inside
I will tear them asunder

Deep beneath the ocean
Of sinful ambitions
Will soon lie their fears of me
OJ Apr 2020
Every shadow hides a true hero
A shivering cold heartless creature who sold their life to the shadows
The demons are our friends
They follow us and watch us sleep
Keep us safe whenever you go into sleep paralysis
OJ Apr 2020
Hi Sunshine
I love you.
Hi Sunshine
Are you okay?
Hi Sunshine
Do you want to play?
Hi Sunshine
Can I talk to you?
Hi Sunshine
Can you keep a secret?
Hi Sunshine
Why do you ask?
Hi Sunshine
We can’t be friends.
Hi Sunshine
Why not?
Bye Sunshine
You ain’t worth my time anymore.
OJ Apr 2020
You don’t get a choice
You don’t get a reason
To not adore me
To be blind sighted by my voice

To be manipulated
Swim or flight it's still the same
Your fate is still the same
In trance by my beauty and voice
OJ Apr 2020
I woke from a seemingly never ending abyss of a dream
A desk
A pen
A single page of paper
A chair
A single spotlight
And me
In a single room
For 8 hours
Writing
Writing
Writing
About the horror of my own thoughts.
The afterimage of a previous page of paper
On a never ending loop
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