Alvira Perdita

Alvira Perdita Mar 2016

all those promises of forever,
and the words whispered.
the shared secrets, the glances,
the looks when we knew what
the other was thinking.

the days spent pretending
that the rest of the world didn't
exist and the nights of talking.
the mornings of tired silence,
the random texts that were only
half a thought, and the brokenness
that we share but refuse to acknowledge

childhood bestie.

#love #memories #friendship #stay #years #sisters #bestfriend #comeback #bestie #truefriendship

Alvira Perdita Mar 2016

would you still want me?

i often wonder what it'd be like
if you were to read the poems
i've written about you, if you
were to finally see all the pain
that you inflicted, and all the
thoughts i've spent our forever
hiding from you

my dear.

Alvira Perdita Mar 2016

i don't care anymore

nobody else is accountable
for my happiness
and that's why i'm happiest
when i think of death
because i give just as much
of a ****
as everybody else does
about me

i have zero ***** to give

Alvira Perdita Mar 2016

life vs death

how can things be so terribly wrong,
but also perfectly okay?
it's contridictory, but everything
about me seems to be
because living is good because
i can meet new people
and see things that are beautiful
but living is bad
and it's painful and breathing
hurts terribly

dying wouldn't be so bad
because no pain
and i wouldn't feel loss when
people leave me
and i wouldn't wake up each
morning wishing
that i hadn't been alive to take
that first breath
and i don't want part of this life
and i'm not afraid

things i can't tell people because it seems
like nobody understands.

#suicide #broken #sad #depression #life #pain #death #depressed #alone #breathing

Alvira Perdita Mar 2016

stress

I can feel my heart break,
Like a physical pain in my chest,
And my breaths are coming out ragged
Because the words you spoke
Are tearing me apart

But you don't notice
Because you're angry at yourself
And my feelings seemed not to matter
And it makes me feel that
I would be better off dead

This is my life.

Alvira Perdita Mar 2016

weakness

in a matter of moments
the world crumbling
falling to my knees

the unbearable pain,
the continual need
to cry

my strength,
it's fading
quickly

i can't hold
on anymore

emotions