In trying, there is every chance you might fail.
In not, there is no chance you will ever prevail.

For if you do not take a chance or at least try
There is every chance life will just pass you by.

Sometimes
You can be surrounded by people
And still feel lonely
…
Sometimes
You can be with people you love
And still feel lonely
…
I just
am

I'm so lost in my mind,
Some are normal, some? Not so kind.

I think of friends and family and school.

But I also think of self harm and stealing and people being used like a tool

I think of anxiety and depression
I think of my insecurities  and aggression

And I guess this is my confession
I hope this will make the burden lessen

But for now I need to smile for my families sake

And my advice I hope you'll
Take

Don't make my mistake.

I'm a murderer
I've stabbed my own heart.
I'm a thief
I've stolen my own happiness.
I'm a liar
I've told myself how much better things would be.
I'm a slothful woman
I fell asleep.
I'm greedy
I've eaten my own pain.
I'm hungry
Just not for sin again.

Know that if you hit rock bottom,
Are feeling that all hope is gone.....
There is no firmer foundation
You will ever have to build on.

Sometimes I wonder what freedom feels like.
What fresh air feels like in my lungs.
What a "good day" truly feels like.

But then sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not have fears.*
To not be cripppled by anxiety over the thought of being around people.
To not have thoughts running marathons in my head.

And then sometimes I wonder what life would be like without the pain of depression.
What it feels like to be okay.
**What normal feels like.