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Thomas Alan Feb 2019
bipolar is looking through the lens
of a Kodak
and seeing only black and white
or the most vibrant colour
Thomas Alan Oct 2018
depression is the friend
that doesn't call you
to tell you they are coming over

depression is the friend
that tells you to have another drink
when you can barely stand
Thomas Alan Oct 2018
I am the sad boy
with shadows beneath my brows
and tears on my chin

I am the sad boy
that was hotter when he was thin
with broken lungs within

I am the sad boy
who could love a thousand times
but never quite enough
to save his own life

I am the sad boy
who wishes he were dead
with those nasty little voices
calling in his head
Thomas Alan Oct 2018
A burden
let’s do it
A high
And low

If not sadness
Or Joy
Then how can it be
This sorrow grow

I do not know

Thoughts I cannot control
This heart it carries
A thousand crows

I am dying
Electrons
Pathways gone
I thought I was
The perfect soul

I do not know

Forgive this
Forgive I
You can’t explain

I do not know

Shut it down
Make it go
You can feel almost nothing
But it weigh like coal

I do not know
Thomas Alan Nov 2017
you say
that I have been careless with this love
drifting towards beaches  
towards the sand

but though a tear
taps the basic fabric
I continue to see
the sea in your eyes
Thomas Alan Nov 2017
do you miss me
alone in your head?
or do you only miss me
alone in your bed?

do you feel me
in the dead of the night?
or does it only hurt you
when you turn on the light?

do you wonder
where I have gone?
or haven't you realised yet
where you went wrong
Thomas Alan Nov 2017
the longing is here
it passed through my veins
it bruised all my insides
and it longs for a change
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