Fallen onto the snow,
the memories can't be erased.
All the days I held you close
when the winds came blowing by.
Nightmares tried to rip you apart,
but I glued back the pieces of your heart,
forever hoping it would never crack again.

Then in fiery rage I was gone,
torn away from all I held dear
and the plans you and I had made.

I never prayed so **** hard.

Now the years have passed,
of course I came back,
and we tried so hard to start over again,
but it was never quite the same.
The love was strong and always there,
but everything and everyone got in the way,
and no matter how many times,
it never really worked.

And so here I go,
trying to find myself, somewhere else away from here.
I don't know if I'll ever come back,
I always did before,
and maybe someday we'll get to where we once were,

because...

fallen onto the snow,
the memories can't be erased.

In an ordinary world I would already be where I want to be.
The questions running through my head would be answered,
and I wouldn’t need to worry anymore.
But this world isn’t ordinary.
I’m nowhere near where I want to be,
but I’m where I’m supposed to be.
And never think that where you are now is not the place for you.
It’s just a pit stop on the highway of life,
and sometimes this pit stop is a long one.
And for some,
it’s leads us to discovering that maybe right here is where we’re actually meant to be.
It’s just how we see it that changes.

I’ve never been in love,
but I know of a love so deep.
And because of that I don’t need my heart strings pulled by another on this Earth.
God has my love and unlike anyone else,
it won’t be broken.

Are you reading this?
Ten out of ten you’re scrolling right on past.
My words mean nothing in the shuffle of the
others who are bolder.
But even if I yelled it out,
no one would bother to hear me.
The lines I write are everything to me.
And each one expresses what I cannot say in person.
If only someone else would care for them just as much.

You can erase me from your memories.
Not pick up the phone and dial those numbers.
Talk and talk and say all the right words to the people who don’t really know.
Those words never reach here.
Do you get how I ask myself if I’m the one all wrong?
If I’m apart of problem.
It leaves me hating myself sometimes.
You can’t hear the cries from where you are.
And you’ll never know the nightmares living in my head trying to chase me down.
I’m hurting deep inside.
And all you do is stay away,
dragging the pain a little further each day.

Tired bones,
and tired eyes,
I struggle to get through each hour.
Loosing my patience and sanity.
I wonder if the battle is loosing.
Then in the back of my mind pushing its’ way past the doubt and hurting,
I hear a voice softy whisper,
“Dear child,
tomorrow is coming and you do all you can.
You take on an impossible task,
and you refuse to quit.
Though the work seems giant,
remember you can’t do it all.
There is only so much the world can put on your shoulders.
And for everything else,
that is why I am here.
When everything feels like it’s crumbling,
look up and there I’ll be there.
Yes, child.
I’m always there.”

You go on and on about love,
and about taking the time to be there.
To show the ones you love you care.
But maybe that doesn’t apply here.
You show up at the worst,
and leave because you can.
No hey how’s it going?
Or I was just thinking about you.
You speak of being there for those that matter.
But the blood that runs deep,
never really mattered to you.
Because you come when it’s convenient.
You call when want takes over sincerity.
Tell everyone to do the little things for you,
and yet the line keeps ringing from miles away.
You hold on to memories and heritage
with no one around to share them with.
We’re right here.
Same place we have been.
We haven’t forgotten,
and our hearts ache when words are disconnected.
I’m doing my best to keep the hope alive.
But where hope flows as far as a river,
here it runs dry.
So instead of hoping for something that isn’t willing to do the same,
I’ll hope for something else that won’t leave me bitter and confused.