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Angelica Sep 18
You said you were brave
When you opened your mouth
And poured out your heart
Brave
Knowing you’d fall again
Left alone , sad again
Do we call it brave
Hanging yourself up
Left over an open flame
Was I brave
When I looked in your eyes
And told you what hurt
Brave ?
Completely forgotten
Like nothing was wrong
Maybe if I was brave
I’d say something again
Speak up one more time
But I’ve been brave before
And I’ve done it again
At what point is it okay
To stop being brave  

Angelica
#poemsiwroteinsecret
Angelica Feb 2018
And it all finally made sense
Why they had tried so hard to take down her fence
And get rid of her defense

Because once she stopped running
She could finally begin overcoming
The demons inside her that had been oh so cunning

All the crying, and internal dying
Finally distant memories
Gone for more than centuries
Making room for her delivery
With the help of A familiar strangers chivalry

In this moment she knew
It was time for her breakthrough

And so the, oh so troubledchild
And her emotions reconciled
And then she wiped her tears and smiled
Angelica May 2018
I just want to show you that this is no temporary love
I just want to show you that I won't be giving up
I want you to know I'm here for you to love
Put a rose in my heart and some chocolate in my soul
I was never one for romance but for you I let that go
Fantasy after fantasy
Now these thoughts come to me naturally
If I let you be a part of my story
Will you let me bask in your glory
Let us venture into unknown waters
Together
I want to do this with you
So let me
Let me love your tortured soul
Heal your depressed heart
And nurture your tired mind
As I run my fingers through your hair
And we lock eyes as time stops
Let me be your saving grace
Let me put you out of your misery
Let me help you forget
About all that's bad and wrong
Why? Because you do the same for me
You are my ecstasy
So let me be your happy pill
Angelica Feb 2018
Look into my eyes
And Tell me what you see
You say this doesn't seem like me
But you can't tell me what does
So many expectations
Too many comparisons
Me to you and him to her, her to me and him to she
I'm not her and she's not me
We're us ourselves and should be free
To be..
Who what and how we want
Don't tell me I can't be me
I may grow old but I'm not growing up
And I may slow down but I can also speed it up
My thoughts my life my choice
And if we are the choices we make
My life is a paradox
And if we are what's in our thoughts
Then call me twisted
And if our life is our gift
I'll continue to unwrap and appreciate it
Until death do us part
And even then
Don't judge me
Don't question me
And just let me be
Let me be me
-LilLaeta
Angelica Feb 2018
I guess I'm still learning

To talk to people and let things out
To let go of insecurities and all this doubt

I guess I'm still learning

That life isn't always your friend
This ancient damnation can actually be a fiend

I guess I'm still learning

That this Is just a hurdle that I need to climb
And this too shall pass but just in due time

I guess I'm still learning

To go easy on myself
To understand that one needs not to be ******* oneself
That one needeth not to hate on thyself


I guess I'm still learning

To fight the war in my mind
Even when i really struggle to find
The courage inside
That helps me unbind
From this poor quarantined and pathetic state of mind
That makes me believe that I am undefined
When in fact I am the mastermind
Of my own subconscious mind

LilLaeta
Angelica Mar 2018
Maybe the problem isn't that
I love too much
But that I love too quickly
And Hurt to easily
-my life in an Epigram
Angelica Feb 2018
She never stopped crying
She felt like she was dying
She wore her scars on her back
And Carried her problems like a backpack
She didn't know how great she could grow up to be
She didn't know if she wanted to wait long enough to see
She was ready to give in
Shoulders slouched and a low chin
She didn't think they really cared
About all that was left unsaid
They called out to her
But it was all just a blur
But after calling and calling,
She Almost found herself falling
Until she was caught by a familiar face
And suddenly the world became such a beautiful place

-LilLaeta
Angelica Feb 2018
What do I do with this blank space
I always have something to say
But today that's not the case

What do I do with empty page
Maybe I can use it to get out of this cage
Maybe I can use it to escape this rage

What shall I do with this unwritten story
Maybe I can write words that will help them speak of my glory
Maybe my words will go down in  herstory

What do I do with this bare canvas
Maybe it can bring joy and stop me from being anxious
And maybe it will get rid of all this worldly madness

What do I do on this earth that's not my home
Acquire a defiant syndrome
Or stay hidden under a dome
Forever alone?

The day of my freedom, clearly unknown
First Poem in a Collection titled Finding My Fading Self
Angelica Feb 2018
Who were you?
Before they broke your heart
Really, before they told you
You couldn't be yourself
Before they told you
You weren't enough

Remember that person?
That boy or girl you used to be
That child that just didn't care
That didn't mind what people were saying

Who were you?
Before society rejected you
And told you to change
The way you dressed the way you spoke the way you walked

Before that one thing that broke you
That destroyed you
That made you believe you weren't worth it

Who were you?
Remember that person?
Don't you miss that person
That feeling of being free
And living carelessly

Who were you?
No! Who are you-
‘cos you're still that person
And this is your story
You control this allegory

So stop remembering that person
and start  being that person

Because who are you?
You're you and only you

LilLaeta
Angelica Feb 2018
Lurking within the walls Fading, disappearing
Erased
Going -going -gone
The demons all silenced The fears all awakened
Scared
Brave
Confused
Footsteps draw closer
Fear draws nearer
And the demons continue
To run further -further -away
Should I run ?But I stay
Hoping that maybe Just maybe
I'll live.....But cos i stayed
I die
But I'm not dead Just sleeping
But this could be forever
A straight jacket they call it
Asylum....
My new home
The crazy girl next door My newest friend
And a whole group Of demons for mine To play with
Until their silenced again
By the crazy -mad-****** Who is she?
The girl that lives within me
But this is all a dream I can see it
This is a beautiful nightmare
And the only problem is
That I'm not sleeping ...

WAKE UP!

-LilLaeta

— The End —