Sitting alone voices float past me
I fathom what it would be like to be free
To get out of this cage
To turn a new page
Something new
...
Yet in my mind something is askew
There is nothing new
The same old thoughts come rushing to me
Breaking and beating all I can be

I am drowning
in a sea ravaged
by storm.

I couldn't keep up
with the onslaught
of waves.

My arms are getting numb,
my legs are burning,
my lungs are slowly
loosing oxygen.

Try as I might,
I can't swim back
ashore.

And slowly,
I stopped moving
and I let the waves
bring me down.

And I am sinking.

Sinking deeper
in the abyss
of an addled mind.

Sinking in the
comforting hands
of insanity.

Sinking in the lilting
voice of madness.

Joy, shining 
Fly, happily
I'm living, 
Please, join in
Knives, slicing 
Eyes, crying 
I'm dying 
Please,don't, let me go
Warmth, sunshine 
Life, thriving 
Birds,singing 
I don't want to go 
I'm, 
So cold 
Death, 
so close 
Please,
don't,
Let 
Me
Go 
White,
Sterile 
IV in my veins 
I'm living
They've imprisoned,
me
in this place 
Sky,***** 
Stars, missing 
I'm stuck on this 
Earth 
I'm, living 
I'm, dying 
This worlds a cruel place 
I'm dying 
I'm living 
I wear my true face
Take this gift for what it is
Please don't let it go

I try to be poetic
This is hardly a gift
It's linguistic aesthetics
For emotional rifts

Humble are the poets
Who write with such skill
For they foster heroics
And cry with ther quills

Zap the lightning. Crash the thunder.
Even immortals; they will sunder
Under my wrath they will be lit
So mortals prepare and so be it.

The sun was just attempting
To break free off the holds
Of the eastern horizon
Feable orange rays streaming in

And i was struggling
To break free from your confection enfoldment
Daybreak shouldnt  find me here

Your warmth, your gentle touch was so ensnaring last night
Your voice filled with so many secrets
Was the soundtrack of my night enslavery

to the plecantero rendezvous
That will remain between you and me
Though we are not supposed to be

You were whispering to me
How last night blew your mind
And now you wanted the tape to rewind

Where was your man?
I didnt care then...
Last night  you invited me in
I remember you standing at the door
In a blue lingerie...

"Baby I got to go."
But you wouldnt let me
"Stay for a minute longer"
You worked your magic
And i didnt need convincing

My mouth given a taste of the forbidden
The guilt turning to exhiliration
We were lost in oblivion
And then he came In

I didnt hear the door turning
I didnt hear his soldier boy boots on the floor
But i saw him standing over us.

you held on to me, was it fear?
Bewitched to not see his tear
And the hatred in his eyes
You told him you'd made up your mind

that was your welcome home
to the soldier lover boy
Who had been walking all night  
Knowing you would be waiting

the heart wants what it wants
You wanted love
and warmth in the cold nights
The love i gave, but was illegal

When he lifted up his pistol
Saying he cannot accept competition
Especially from 'this bug'
I never thought it would be lethal

He decided i should live
But both of us should miss you
I dived for his gun and we struggled
Two strayed into your head
And that was the end of him too

The illegal love blew your mind
Daybreak shouldnt have found me there
I remember it all
Your whispers
blood all over like a ritual

The lethal love
The illegal love
But i still love you
To me you are never dead

My life will end
as a blank canvas
on an empty wall
in an empty house
in a street that no one remembers
I will fade into the endless black
drowned amongst
the many nameless
forgotten by all
who once swore
to remember me
I will lie dying
in a potter's field
with a wilting flower
and a first name only
I will never publish my words
and I will never show my art
And I will forget to leave this town
fading like every other here
who had big, but fragile dreams
I will always exist
but forget to live.