You don't want me
That I understand.
I doubt you ever will
But if you did, it'd be grand.

We'd dance as one
Foolish, my small dreams
You still haven't asked me..
I bet we'd make a great team.

Go, ask her out
I will wish you well
I'll mend my bending heart
I'll get away from this hell.

There's someone out there
Someone who makes sense
Will I find him, or not?
The answer's in Providence.

Three years ago, I experienced a drought
Filled with hatred, anxiety and self-doubt.
From the lush crop of innocence and joy
I became a dead shoot, pillaged and destroyed.
Demons attached to my thick skin, I roam
Not recognizing what used to be home
Tense to the bone, crippled,followed by fear
An amnesiac that forgot what once was dear.
When will they leave- the wraiths who robbed my soul?
Am I to remain this...decrepit ghoul?
Defunct creature that refuses to grow
Unable to apply the things she knows
Who steps forward in time to see square one
Who disdains the very idea of fun
Three years it has been, how long will it be
Before there's some light in this cursed Destiny?

In a world filled with brilliance and grace
I wonder- Am I in the right place?
Somewhere down the line I must've gotten lost
Sticking to one side when I should've crossed
A mere penguin attempting to fly
Among winged birds that live in the sky.
I wonder why I continue to fall
Trying to scale an impossible wall
Maybe I was just... horribly wrong
Thinking that I could ever belong.

I used to be a breath of fresh air
Free to blow about, to dance with grace
Through places I'd never seen before
With glorious certainty, at my own pace.
Little did I know, that as I grew up
My arms would seize, my legs wouldn't move
That I'd become the still, unmoving wind
With zero purpose, with nothing to prove.
I'm comfortably numb, I feel no pain
I don't need to live, I just exist
If someone walks by, they can feel my soul
Aching to fly, but too weak to resist.

When the world is crumbling down
When all hope seems to be lost
It's a gentle, harsh reminder
That everything comes at a cost.
Courage isn't hard to find
But it fades in fear and sorrow.
Yet, stay the course, faithful reader
Your light will shine tomorrow.
'Tomorrow never comes', you say
I hope, one day, you find it has
With great strength and resilience
Believe that this too, shall pass.

Maybe one day I'll be free of this stress
Perhaps, one day I can finally live
Maybe one day I'll have a clear head
Perhaps one day I'll have strength to forgive.

Don't tell me it's dangerous to hope
It keeps me alit, it makes me burn
Towards the dream of a better future
One that I can honestly say I earned.

I'll push my boundaries, however far
I'll keep the promises I once made
I'll fail, I'll fall, hopefully I stand
I'll clear the rain on my parade.