Maybe one day I'll be free of this stress
Perhaps, one day I can finally live
Maybe one day I'll have a clear head
Perhaps one day I'll have strength to forgive.

Don't tell me it's dangerous to hope
It keeps me alit, it makes me burn
Towards the dream of a better future
One that I can honestly say I earned.

I'll push my boundaries, however far
I'll keep the promises I once made
I'll fail, I'll fall, hopefully I stand
I'll clear the rain on my parade.

Dear God

Why would you take the best souls away?
Almost as if they're too precious for Earth?
Gone too soon, always and forever-
Or do you send them away for rebirth?
Why didn't you give him some courage
Instead of pain, agony anew
Why did his soul want to run away
As though prayers weren't enough for you?
If he is up there with you in heaven
Tell him I'm sorry I didn't know,
That I'm so sad that I did not help,
That I deeply regret I was too slow.
Tell him I do hope he's doing well,
That I wish his anguish decreased,
That I pray he gained some happiness,
That I truly hope he found his peace.

If I could write my life as a poem
For millions who'll read, understand, think
I'd conjure an epic, a mystery
A tale on edge, a tragedy's brink.

I'd weave gripping waves of pleasure
Together with heart-wrenching tides of pain
A sea of battles with no leisure
Of joyful wins going against the grain.

I'd stitch metaphors with gleeful pride
Constructing rhythm with a bit of rhyme
I'd dabble with similes here and there
It'd be my thread on the sands of time.

But when I see my life as it is now
How different it is from my lovely tale
It retains its mystery, some agony
A once-green crop grown dead and stale.

A lost yarn of mistakes and pitfalls
With regret binding the threads as one
Repeated faults with no known structure
A once-free verse that is trapped, undone.

So I'll cast away my dream of a life
In a graveyard as a forgotten goal.
Some dreams never come true, it seems
Just like some lives will never be whole.

I am a half-full glass of truth
My regrets are aplenty.
I spilled my contents on a friend
I don't know if I'm half empty.

A grave story I did relate
One very close to my heart
Little did I know I would feel
Like a painter without her art
Like a writer without words
Like a scientist without logic
A plane unable to fly,
A magician without magic.

I'm adjusting to what is left
A shadow of its former glory
Tainted by choice, deliberate ruin
A hapless chapter in my story.

I'm getting my glasses removed
Tomorrow, on thirtieth June
Words cannot describe what I feel
Sight without them would be a boon
To see clearly as soon as I wake
Looking at the time with no strain
Yet I'm scared- will I lose my vision?
Or will this be the end of my pain?
A surgery's a strange affair
I'm afraid- but I won't say a word
Lord, I pray, grant me the strength
To deal with whatever will occur
With the grace, the will of your smile
With the patience of a tortoise
To amble gently towards my end
With steadfast feet, and a bit of poise.

I should have been an extrovert
Who can talk and speak to all
With poise, with grace and confidence
And knows just how to stand tall.

I should have been an extrovert
So my friends won't implore
"Come on, mingle! Don't run away!"
Staring aghast at my door.

I should have been an extrovert
Who doesn't hide in her room
With her books, music or poems
A caricature of gloom.

I wish I were an extrovert
So I could willingly comply
I'd never ask "Why am I this way?"
I won't ever have to lie.

How does one find faith during a tough time,
To choose a path that's an impossible climb?
How can one smile when everything goes wrong
Knowing that you'll be fine, that you'll be strong?
How does one build up the courage to stay
When every bit of you wants to run away?
How can one resist from giving up hope
Even when you hold on to the thinnest rope?
How does one learn to get up from a fall
When no one teaches it to you, at all?
I'm looking for answers in a dark room
Unsure if I'm headed for light or doom.
If anyone reading this has a clue
Tell me how you did it, I'll learn from you.