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Mister J Jun 2019
Sometimes I stare at the vast yet blank night sky
Thinking of the memories we shared that are as wide
Sometimes I wonder how abysmal the ocean is
Thinking of the emotions I felt that are as deep

The alcohol is starting to take it's toll
The beer cans scattered all over the floor
Holding back the screams that want to be heard
Holding back the tears that want to fall

I wonder every night if happiness is with you
If the choices we made were really for the best
I wonder every day how my sadness would end
Even if I chose to leave everything and let you go

My deepest fears are making their way to the surface
My deepest grievances are making themselves known
Let me be free from the ghost you left me with
Let me be free from the past that I made painful

Everyday I pray with desperate earnesty
That our paths would never meet again
That I see your face full of joy, no regrets
While my heart is filled by none other than regret

I pray our paths would never cross again
Dreading that moment that I find out
That you never missed me even a second
While I missed you so much each and every second

I pray our eyes would never meet again
Dreading that moment that I find out
That even though a long time has passed
My resurgent feelings would remain the same

Dear God, please don't let me drown in these fears
Please relieve me from these harrowing sorrows
Don't let me see her with all the happiness in the world
While I drown with all the emptiness I got from it.

Mend the heart she left broken, please I beg
For she took away every piece, yet threw them all away
Stop the tears that kept on coming every night
Keep me from feeling numb and unworthy again.
Rushed poem. Thanks for reading!

-J
Mister J May 2019
Gabi-gabing tinitiis ang lamig
Ng pusong binibigo ng pag-ibig
Unti-unting bumibitaw ang mga kamay
Sa relasyong unti-unti na ring namamatay

Sa bawat bitaw ng buntong-hininga
Kalakip ang malaking panghihinayang
Sa bawat luha na tumulo mula sa mata
Kalakip ang mga alaalang puno ng lumbay at ligaya

Pilit mang itulog na lang ang lahat
Pilit mang ibaon ang sakit sa limot
Pilit mang magpakalunod sa nadaramang lungkot
Sadyang hindi magawa ng pusong nayayamot

Kailan kaya gigising sa umaga
Na kayang tanggaping wala ka na?
Kailan kaya gagalaw muli ang oras
Na tumigil nung bigla kang nawala?

Kailan maghihilom ang mga sugat
Na dulot ng mga hinagpis ng kahapon?
Kailan kaya ako makakalimot ng lubos
Para puso'y matutunang umibig muli?

Bathalang Maykapal na sa langit ay nagmamasid
Dinggin ang aking mga panalangin ng hinagpis
Ako po'y nagsusumamo't dumudulog sa inyo
Pawiin ang lungkot na pinagdurusahan ko

O Pag-ibig na mahirap mahagilap
Na hanggang ngayo'y nananatiling mailap
Sana'y ang susunod siya na ang huli
Ang babaeng makatatagal sa aking mga bisig
Late night writing.
Can't sleep.

Night!

-J
Mister J Apr 2019
I'm choking on oxygen

My palms are sweating too much
My heart is jumping inside my chest
My brain is on a drunken haywire
I'm literally left speechless and dazed

I didn't see this coming

You're standing in front of me
Once again I get a glimpse of you
A glimpse that I would've killed for
In what was like a lifetime ago

You render me helpless

I thought I was done with this
My life was back on track again
My heart healing from the wounds
That your departure inflicted on me

And yet here I am

Time froze again for me
Because as the pain resurfaced in me
You seem like you're having fun
Living life as if nothing happened

And yet you left me in misery

How dare you smile in front of me
Showing me expressions that I've never seen before
Your smile a mockery of the harrowing experience
Of everything I went through because of you

I'm trying not to sob

You look like you own the world
Being happy with someone else nowadays
Yet here I am frozen and dumbstruck
As you blatantly ignore me when our eyes met

Here I go again

Spiraling in a downward depression
Feeling used and abused
When I simply gave my all to you
And you show me how insignificant I am to you

I'm done with this

I'm done with you and your cruel heart
That enjoys the misery of those she left
That craves attention only for self fulfillment
And leaves destruction in your wake

You are a storm

As storm that passed by my life
Who's torrential downpour I craved
But left me destroyed and broken
Leaving me to die out of breath

This is the last goodbye

I never want anything from you
Whose love is too hellish to earn
I never want to go through this again
Even if it leaves me wanting more from you

See what mess you left me in?
Outburst of words and emotions

Hi there!
Thanks for reading!

-Mr. J

:)
Mister J Mar 2019
Nangarap lang naman ng isang pag-ibig
Na kayang magtagal sa aking mga bisig
Ngunit bakit ganoon kadaya ang tadhana?
Parati na lamang naiiwan at namamaalam.

Wagas na pagmamahal ay kayang ialay
Ngunit kahit nilalako na ang pag-ibig
Walang sinuman ang tumatanggap
Walang sinuman ang kayang tumagal

Hanggang dito na lang ba talaga tayo?
Wala na bang pwede pang iareglo?
Pinagdasal na umabot sana sa simbahan
Ngunit mukhang ako lang talaga ang umasa

Ang pinakamasakit sa lahat ng 'to?
Yung naiwan kang nag-iisip na baka
Pwede pang isalba kung anong meron
Pero hindi ka pinayagang gumawa ng hakbang

Kaya 'eto't nagmumukmok sa isang tabi
Iniisip kung ano bang nagawang mali
Kasi ang mga rasong "hindi ikaw, ako"
Ay mas masakit pa sa "may iba ako"

Mas maiintindihan ko pa kung ang pag-ibig
Na kay tagal kong pinaghirapan ay bigla na lang maglaho
Kaysa sa mga rasong malabo namang basahin
At ang mga mala-bugtong na sagot sa aking mga tanong

Namamaalam muli sa pag-ibig na hindi nagtagal
Na kahit anong pilit ang aking gawin, walang nararating
Walang kapangyarihang baguhin ang kasalukuyan
Ang mga pinanghawakan dumudulas sa aking mga kamay.

Hanggang sa mawala sa puso
Isisigaw ang pagmamahal sa'yo
Sambit ng mga labi ang ngalan mo
Hanggang ang pag-ibig ay maglaho.
For "Hera"

It hurts to be at the end.
But I'll endure until the
feelings are gone..

If we do meet one day,
I hope we can try again
After this whirlwind
Of a romance.

Thank you
I'm sorry
I love you

-J
Mister J Mar 2019
I once found a rose
That drew me to it's beauty
I knew I had to take it for my own
I yearned to possess it earnestly

Without hesitation I jumped in
I grabbed it with all I have
Wanting it truly with all my heart
Praying sincerely to own it wholly

I held on to it vigourously
So that no one can steal it from me
Tightening my grasp onto it
As if I could never want anything more

I didn't mind holding on to it
I wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world
And yet others kept telling me to let go
As they saw my hands bleeding badly

I saw it before it even bled this badly
I knew that things would turn for the worst
And yet my desire took over my reason
And wounded myself from the thorns it has

As I contemplated my own pain
I saw the pain I was causing this rose
She suffocated under my grasp
She was dying under my care

I knew what I have to do
And yet I held on to it tight
Thinking that it was mine
And yet my hands said otherwise

Now I'm stuck in a dilemma
Should I still hold on and both get hurt
Or do I let go and let it grow on its own?
Do I say goodbye and just give up on it?

No matter how much I love it
If I continue this, I'll continue bleeding
And she'll continue suffocating
How do I let her go?
Hey. It's been a while..

Hope you like this piece..
An analogy of a rose and love..

Thanks!

-J ❤ RMIV
Mister J Feb 2019
The moment when my heart
Started beating for you
I can't help but seek you alone
And beg Heaven for your love

This heart may change directions
It may doubt, be tempted, stumble
Fall, and even be broken apart
But it prays only to be yours

Your arms are the home it seeks
I don't ever want to ever let this go
The compass may head to other paths
But the heart always points to you

I love you
Now,
Tomorrow
And until the day this ends
With my lungs breathing its last
Short piece for Valentines

I miss you. :)

For that uncommitted Salmon in this sea of other fishes who took my heart with her.

-RMIV

:)
Mister J Feb 2019
Gising na naman ng alas dos ng gabi
Hinihingal at pinagpapawisan ng sobra
Mula sa isang bangungot ako’y nagising
Nagising sa katotohanang parang bangungot din.
Hindi mapigilang bumuhos ang mga luha
Puno ng hinagpis mula sa kahapong mapait
Bawat hikbi at buntong-hininga pilit pinipigil
Habang nagkukumahog hanapin ang nawawala

Damdaming nagtitimpi ay biglang pumutok
Mga emosyong rumagasa ng walang habas
Mula sa nasirang prinsa ng aking puso
Umaagos papunta sa mga matang ayaw tumahan
Hinahanap-hanap pa rin ang ‘yong haplos
Pati mga halik na ibinuhos sa aking mga labi
Unti-unting nawawala ang wangis mo sa ating kama
Ang kamang nilisan mo nung ako’y iniwan mo

Gabi-gabing iniisip ang mga dahilan
Kung bakit dun pa sa ating kalungkutan
Bigla mo na lang akong isinantabi’t iniwan
Kahit pa nangako tayo ng walang hanggan
Hinahanap-hanap pa rin ang ‘yong anino
Mga bakas ng kahapong gustong balikan
Ngunit kahit kailanman at ano man ang gawin
Hinding-hindi ko na muling mararanasan

Sana’y naririnig ang mga sigaw ng puso
Na nagtitiis sa sakit habang nangungulila sa’yo
Sana’y marinig muli ang mga salitang
“Mahal kita” mula sa’yong mga labi
Kaya nandito pa rin ako sa ating dulo
Inaantay ang malabong pagbabalik mo
Kahit ang puso’y nawawalan na ng pag-asa
Pilit hinihiling ang katuparan ng mga “sana”

Pag-ibig ko’y iyo pa rin
Nag-aantay sa kamang unti-unting nilalamig
Ang mga bisig na ang tanging nais
Ang yakapin at hagkan kang muli
Piece written in Filipino.
Enjoy the read.
Will post a translated piece soon.


-J <3 RMIV
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