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 May 2017 Leory Santana dawn
ab
she loves me
she loves me not

she is the color of sunbeams
and minty toothpaste

i am the color of nighttime forests
and sawdust from a two-by-four

i cannot afford to keep her
any more than i can myself

even the dirt beneath my fingernails
is too much for me

my hands pass through sunbeams
without any questions

forests are cut down
and there is no place
for the sunlight to sink

she painted my arms
with The Starry Night
and now my palms
are coated in cracking acrylic skies

i haven't tasted gum drops in years
yet one balances on my tongue
teetering instead of sticking

i survive on coffee
and pine needled trees

she consumes
southern honeysuckle
and polished crystals

i am a melted candle

she is a bundle of rosemary

picking painted prom dresses
even though a suit
would suit me better

she is perfection

she loves me
she loves me not
~she loves me, she loves me not
there is a single scratch
on the waxy hardwood floor
from where she broke
one night in august.

a single, jagged line
where her feet tripped on the broken frames
that held fleeting moments
where her chin hit the ground
because her knees already had
where her hands couldn’t let go of her own lungs
to catch herself in time

its submerged now
in a puddle of crimson tears
and surrounded by
shreds of her white cotton sweater
with the ink stain on the cusp

you see
she was trying to fly
but her shoe laces had grown to vines
that crawled up the sides of houses
and into the drainpipes beneath the city

she wanted to dance on cloudy pillow tops
sing the lullabies her mother whispered into her dreams
pull sunbeams through her fingers and tie them into her braids

she hadn’t learned
skies rest on the ground
clouds need valleys to cry on
the earth must turn for the sun to rise
to fly you must have the floor to leave.
5 lies I used to believe as a kid.
1) Santa Claus is real, and he visits every child’s home on Christmas Eve,
Delivering presents all around the world.
I guess he is real, though in my eyes he only comes to
One house and prefers Indian food to cookies.
2) Fast food is bad for you.
I mean, it’s definitely bad for your body,
But it is like a bowl of blended greens
For your soul.
It’s a spiritual experience to get your food through a window in a bag.
3) I’m not good at the flute.
See, one day in the 5th grade we played with some
Band instruments and got stickers if we did well.
I did not get the flute sticker and I supposed it was a
Sign from God telling me the flute life wasn’t my life.
I guess I forgot that effort builds talent,
And practice makes perfect; everyone has potential.
4) Everyone is as they seem.
I see all the colors in the human rainbow but underneath that layer
I guess some people hide behind brittle plastic.
I wonder how their blood flows through their veins,
And I wonder if their blood runs warm or if it’s a cold cry for help.
5) The world is innocent.
As a kid I thought the Earth loved everyone equally,
Like 1) Santa Claus is real and 2) Fast food is bad for you
But turns out that once you put on a few more years,
Grow a foot or two, gain some weight on you,
The world reveals itself to be a battlefield, and you realize the truth.
Things like 3) Everyone’s not good at something whether it’s
The flute or this constant battle for confidence against society.
Things like 4) Everyone has a plastic layer of some kind whether it
Conceals their vile warfare or thinly protects them from
3) The negative thoughts that tie people into knots.
These truths against these lies make me wonder if
1) Santa Claus ever really existed,
Even in the minds of children;
But between nice and naughty there may be hope yet
Before the Earth falls into coal.
innocence is so so fleeting in a world like ours.
this is a spoken word piece i performed on Apr. 21st. it got a lot of laughs at the beginning, which was perfect! i like how it's slightly personal, but more broad at the end.
They rarely bother to mow here anymore,
Once a month, perhaps every other
(Times are tight, full burials being pretty much
A thing of the past these days)
Though it’s unlikely anyone would notice
If the grass grew a bit longish,
Or the crownvetch and crabgrass became a little more prevalent,
No one being buried in this part of the cemetery
For the better part of a hundred years now,
The stones bleached and faded from decades of sleet and sunlight
And acid rain from the auto plants of Flint and Lorain and South Bend,
(Now boneyards for gears and drill bits themselves)
Those names still legible on the teetering, unsteady stones
Mostly the stolid Scotch-Irish surnames
Vaguely familiar from the town’s founding generation
Found on its street signs or pocket-parks,
Their descendants mostly having fled to friendlier climes,
Though the odd lesser strain of the families remain
(Not that they would choose to pay tribute to those ancestors
To whom they have fared so poorly in comparison)
Though many more bear the family names of their trades,
Clusters of Coopers, Weavers, and Smiths,
Their stones bearing the sentiments of grim Victorian fatalism,
Thus in mercy early call’d away or The happy soul is that which fled.
Such thoughts are quaint, eccentric things to us now,
As would be the clothes they wore, the songs they sung,
But we would know them nonetheless,
Know the muted joy of their minor successes,
The depth and finality of their defeats,
The sting of bowing and scraping
To the owners of the mill, the haughty town fathers,
As they served them at the milliners or the drug store,
Their odd, fleeting dreams of grandeur having come to rest here,
Cherry-lidded as they proceed to dust.
Work work
Cradle to grave
Mortgage
Imprisoned
Who's the slave
Slaves for money
And a slice of bread
All for what
You end up dead.
time on earth is only lent
breathing is so better spent
dance yourself through the living flame
Slaves to our address its a crying shame..
Let take you to my heart and keep you under cover
So that no one will ever be to see you just hidden
I assure you I will never ever allow any one to discover
You will be mine as a secret and a treasure forbidden

I will love you and will try to make a flower evergreen
For the solace of my heart I will need wonderful smile
I do appreciate you are too young and hesitant as teen
But I love you for ever it is not for a minute for a while

Please do not think I have chained you as bird in cage
Rather declaring you my love I have given you freedom
We promise to live just on one page from stage to stage
I will survive and die for you as eternal love martyrdom

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2017 Golden Glow
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