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i want to know
how to unknow you
Tonight: I wish all of this, and all of some people, never happened. I am tired just for tonight.

(j.m.)
i am not one for making bets
but i bet your heart skipped too
when my soul recognized you
"I can see my door, my bed, my window, my chair, and my table.

"I can feel my spine against the wall, my feet against the floor, my jaw tightly shut, and my fingernails buried in my arms.

"I can hear the wind coming in from the open window, my heartbeat rapidly thumping, and that familiar voice in my head, shouting once again.

"I can smell the dampness of the ground outside as the breeze carries it to my room, and the sickly sweet odor from the soap used on my hands.

"I can ******* blood spilling from the bite in my lip; my last harsh reminder that
        I
        am      
        still
        alive.
When you call a suicide prevention hotline, they will often ask you to describe to them 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste to help ease anxiety. I hope this poem helps someone struggling to look forward, because believe me, it does get better.
sometimes
                                                       ­                         my
                                     ­ brain
                       doesn’t
                                                       ­     work

right
                                                ­                               and

                             my

                                              thoughts

     ­                                         scatter

               ­                                                    like
                               beads

                                     spilled
                               on
                                                              ­                 tile

floor
I left because you wanted me gone.

I love you!

I came back for you.

but...

I left my thoughts in Immokale.

I left my drive in Lehigh.

My inspiration is scattered over the waters of Ft. Myers beach.

My plans wait in South beach.

Orlando, Tampa bay, and Fort Lauderdale still whisper my name.

It's time to go back to the sunshine state.
I leave my love for you in the sun.
I leave my love for you in the gentle breeze that caresses the palm fronds, the way you used to caress my hair.
I leave my love for you in the clouds that kiss the sky, just as you kissed my face.
I leave my love for you in the warmth touching my skin, just as your warmth soaked into me as you held me in your arms.

I leave all of it here, in a place of my greatest dreams and my worst nightmares. I leave it here, so that someday I may return to it. I leave it here, so I can finally set myself free.

— The End —