he was the kind of beautifully terrifying you can't seem to let leave your head after you've met and their every move stains your brain as you replay it over and over. i don't know the last time someone excited me just by being their self so unintentionally - you can only hope you hold that kind of power when you waltz in and out of somones life like that.

The warmth of the fire flushes my cheeks and makes me sweat
just like the day I first met you.
Outside, the snow falls fresh; the sunset is beautiful
just like when you first kissed me.
My heart beats fast like bird wings
just like the first time we made love.

In the forest I lay down and talk to the trees about good things
just like when I was talking to you. And not about pleasantries.
The birds outside fly away frantically
just like you when we talked about the news we were avoiding.
My heart swells in my chest
just like the child that was in my body.

Each and everything I say streams out of my mouth
like a waterfall down the cliff side.

I was the one coddling you
like a mother would coddle a child.
You were the one who was crying
like it was my fault.

The warmth of the fire flushes my cheeks and makes me sweat,
and here I sit with a bottle of scotch thinking
*have you ever wondered why minuscule memories can be so loud?

The day you were born,
I couldn't be there to see you all wrapped up in blue.
Dad called me to say that
the doctors said you were perfectly healthy.

I wanted to come straight away,
but we have different mothers,
and mine would not take me.
I didn't think it was capable for me;
To love you more than I love anything.

I look through your blue-green eyes;
the same ones we share,
and see myself.
I was a happy little nuisance like you.

Your laughter, even when you know
you're being naughty,
Makes me laugh as hard as you do.
I can't help but smile when I think
of you, little brother.

When I lay you down for a nap,
it is relief, but do I get bored
when you're gone?
Yes I do.

Sometimes I sneak in your room
and watch you peacefully sleeping
just to make sure you're okay.

The day you were born,
I couldn't be there to see you all wrapped in blue,
but that matters not,
because nobody loves you more than I love you.

We've got a special kind of love.
it's so unbelievable.
I thought you loved me like I love melancholy moods.
But you only loved yourself,
So i have another story to tell,
Hold on, strap your seatbelt
We're about to take off.

You knew that we were all wrong
We were caught up in the ******.
Closer and closer we grew,
And things were getting ****
I want to get to know you, everything about you.
Perfect imperfections and sly innuendos.
And i never said it'd be easy,
But who knew this could be so pleasing?

You're just a basket case,
A yellow-bellied coward.
Why can't you say it to my face?
I'm getting older by the hour.
Time is ticking on, and im starting to get mad.
Erase the feelings of love and most everything we had.

You make you're way in like a venomous snake.
I'm sorry to say there's a line in your way.
The line is the bind between my love and your hate.
You're an unsympathetic ****,
Don't ******* treat me this way.
This simply can't work, trust me i know.
I've got the rage of a madman, so id run,
And run. I'd go.

Go away from me.
Stop feeling sorry for youself.
You want to try to control me, I'm on the highest shelf.
I pity you, honey, i really do.
Lying, manipulating *******, thats you.
You might want to start praying now,
Because im not about to bow.
This is really going to hurt,
So prepare for the worst.

Here's an announcement ladies and gents!
Cat's out of the bag so *******! Get bent.
I aim to please, and i ain't pleasing you.
My heart's on the mend, and oh yeah, *******!

You're just a basket case,
A yellow-bellied coward.
Why can't you say it to my face?
I'm getting older by the hour.
Time is ticking on, and im starting to get mad.
Erase the feelings of love and most everything we had.

You make you're way in like a venomous snake.
I'm sorry to say there's a line in your way.
The line is the bind between my love and your hate.
You're an unsympathetic ****,
Don't ******* treat me this way.
This simply can't work, trust me i know.
I've got the rage of a madman, so id run,
And run. I'd go.

My temper is high, you weak-kneed coward.
The pleasure's all mine you pathetic ****.
You're one of the ******, so you'll be
Locked in the cage.
This story is over, and yet not my rage.

We have a special kind of love,
And it's a dangerous one.
It's one that ends with you...
At the barrel of my gun.