I woke up this morning
with rain on my window
there was blood on my arms
and dried tears on my pillow
The knife that I used was sleeping on the floor
I looked at the clock
it was a quarter to four
Marilyn Manson was still playing as I got out of bed
thoughts of last night were hurting my head
My depression kicked in as I turned the music off
I felt ***** in my throat as I tried to cough
It is now five in the morning
I'm taking a shower
I'm starting to get cold
I've been showering for an hour
I step out of the tub
and I get the urge to cut
instead I slip on water
and fall on my ****
...................................
I woke up this morning
there's snow on my window
there are poems on the floor
and blood on my pillow
My heart starts to pound
and I start to cry
as I thank the Lord
for saving me from suicide
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN: Winter 2005
I started writing when I was 13. I lost a lot of my early stuff in storage after moving years ago. This is the only poem I managed to keep all this time. This poem is the beginning of my very long battle with depression. This poem was written when my nightmare started. The cutting, the starving myself, the suicidal thoughts, the anxiety, all of it. This was the very first poem I ever wrote. I didn't have a title for it 11 years ago. I call it "The Beginning Of Everything" because this was written when all of my problems started. After this poem I began writing all of the time and I haven't stopped.