It just feels
Like I should be feeling
More, dealing
With moving on.
I look upon
The past six years;
Joys regrets fears
Run through my mind
But I find
That nothing truly stands out
About
My emotions, nothing
Seems to be stabbing
Into my heart like I thought
It was but did not.
Is it wrong
To not feel much
About where I’ve been for so long?
Because deep down I know such
Thoughts will come to light
Soon; bright
And white
They will be
(Yet rendering my head and heart
Ever so dark).
How long will it take for me
To see
The pictures that should be
Running through my head,
But are choosing to hide instead?

Only
When we
Got the chance to have some fun
Did the clocks speed up;
Day four’s soon going to be
Day one.
Why is it that only
Now’s when happiness
Showed itself to me?
Only at the last few
Weeks do the hues
Finally separate themselves from black
And white.
And only if time might
Turn itself back
Would I have held onto
You
For longer, or just taken more
Time for
That move on the chessboard.
Perhaps I would’ve played less
Of Stress;
Would’ve known not to say yes
To the extra responsibilities
Standing between you and me.
But now
The cards have fallen, I don’t know
How
I can do so
Much in three days–
There are
Far
Too many things I didn’t say.
And now my
Heart aches for the times
That passed by
Where I thought
I’d be happy to leave.
Would it be too late to say
“Guess not”?

I rarely talked about love
Because the word "love" in a sentence is really sentencing by itself.

---

Will somebody please
Slow down the train
It's going through hills
And rough terrain

I tried to be the engineer
But that didn't work
This much is clear

I can't run, I can't roam
I can't DO LIFE ON MY OWN.

I'm on a ride that I can't bear
Filled with loneliness... despair

Not knowing how, which way to turn
I will go the way I've learned.

I won't harbor hatred in my heart
I know my love and I must part

But I don't think of him as bad
We've broken up, and that is sad

But I want my family
here on this site
Know that lately
I haven't been right...

My mind is distraught
And overwrought
I can hardly follow
My train of thought

Please forgive me
I'm slipping my gears
I'm haunted by fears
Have counted years

I'm sure sorry this affects you
It seems like I'm untrue

I want all poets here on HP
To very kindly PRAY FOR ME.

SEND GOOD THOUGHTS
In your own way.

I will also be in prayer

For I have now met The Engineer


SoulSURVIVOR
5/4/2015

It means almost nothing to me when it is said someone loves my curly hair
It means almost nothing to me when people say they love my green eyes or anything else


The best compliment I have ever received is
"Liana, you're so weird, but in the very best way!"

Skipping school
Avoid the reminders
Say i feel sick
Say i feel tired
Friends worried
Keep missing
Skipping
Avoiding
Ignoring school.
Avoid these people
At all costs
A list of a sidewalk
To skip down on
When I want to feel pain
Because thats all you brought to me
Skipping school...
Avoid the reminders...
Say i feel sick...
Say i feel tired...

In the flower fields, the breeze blows,
Setting the rhythm for a song that glows.

Even a flower that forbids company will rest upon the earth.
Just one glance from you,
Just one word from you,
What is a sky without clouds adieu?