I still wear your T-shirt to bed.
I know I shouldn’t but i do.
I should wear my own pyjamas instead
But they just don’t feel like you

If love is pain and pain is pleasure,
Then these bruises she shall  use as,
your affection measure.

To visualise love,
To feel your feelings,
To sense it as her wounds are healing.

Seeing, hearing,
Following Your  scent,
To know just what it represents.

She’ll take the leap,
relinquish control
As further she delves down your rabbit hole.

Enjoy the journey
but were’s the destination?
Your marks, your love? The correlation?!!

Some want to hurt,
some want to bleed.
To watch the inner anguish freed.

A world, a life,
A religious order?
His canes the relics to to this mental disorder.

See external pain,
is internal anaesthetic,
His marks she believes to be truly stigmatic.

**** the happy people that depression never struck
**** the happy people and all of their good luck
**** the happy people who've never known this strife
**** the happy people who've never used a razor or a knife
**** the happy people that the monsters never came
**** the happy people with no voices in their brain
**** the happy people that with the universe they have no gripe
**** the happy people and their ******* happy lifes

if you looked in my window
you'd see a shattered girl crying
you'd see a broken dream dying
if you saw in that shattered girl crying
you'd see a heartbroken past
you'd see an approaching darkness fast
if you saw in that dream dying
you'd see a thunder storm wail
you'd see a shattered girl pale
if you looked in my window
you'd see memories haunting
you'd see dead hopes taunting
if you stared at the memories haunting
you'd understand why life is scary
you'd understand a sliver of burdens i carry
if you stared at dead hopes taunting
you'd understand my fear
you'd understand why i can't live here
if you looked in my window
you'd see nothing
you'd see running
if you wondered about the nothing
you'd find horrors all your own
you'd find yourself dethroned
if you wondered about the running
you'd find the real reason
you'd find yourself charged with treason

I have no where to hide
Nothing to blind me
The silent space between us
grows more and more
I don't know how I'll shield myself
from your eyes that never look my way
I don't know what to feel
Will I ever feel okay?

Everything I notice reminds me of you
Letters turn to words turn to sentences
all about you and you have no clue
I'm filled with what ifs and regrets
Is there anything I can do?

I have no other destination
No where else to go
There are no more distractions
to hide myself from reality
I no longer know how to avoid
my emotions
They are breaking down my walls
Will I overcome this one-sided devotion?

I wrote you poems you will never read
Sentences turn to stanzas turn to poems
all for you and I can't help it
I can't stop thinking about you anymore
*Will my thoughts of you ever quit?

Submission
He owns my body.
He owns my heart.
When he’s displeased,
My whole world falls apart

When he’s satisfied by my efforts,
I’m overwhelmed with joy.
Though often mixed with anxiety,
In case inadvertently annoy.

For him i will change,
To almost anything he requires,
For now my only life goal,
Is to be all that he desires.

I will take almost any pain inflicted.
Hold each predicament position.
As he knows the key to my heart,
Is the key to my submission.

So yes I will take any punishment,
In anyway he sees fit.
For him i won’t fight it.
For him i will SUBMIT.

They say a dog chooses it’s Master
and i believe a submissive does too.
Because just moments within meeting him,
i swear I already knew.

Set aside any criteria
and any particular credentials.
That something you can’t quite put your finger on,
Is one of my fundamentals.

I let him look inside my soul,
i show him I’m a dreamer.
Already he’s controlling me
and has altered my demeanour.

My logic screams inside me NO!
-Don’t sell your soul to the devil.
But my senses scream inside me YES...
“In his presence you will revel! “

The more we talk, the more I feared
as he changed my personality.
Yet further i delve into his aura,
although anticipating fatality.

Throwing caution to the wind,
i ignored my logic mind,
Ready to give him all of me,
til he suddenly declined.

Confusion strikes, I feel a loss.
Not knowing what I’ve done.
He tells me you’re not serious
and only seeking bedroom fun.

I don’t know how to prove myself,
wondering if this is just a test.
One day he’s here, the next he’s not.
I feel so... Dispossessed? !

I’d usually give up once rejected
but I know I must persist.
My inner sub is telling me
she needs him to exist.


You see jus moments within meeting him,
something was oh so very prominent.
I’m sure he doesn’t know it yet,
but he’s destined to be my
DOMINANT.

I want to be everything to you,
I will lie with the most beautiful of intentions.
I will lure you in with my multiple dimensions.

You softened for me
The look in your eyes changed as you opened your heart.
Then changed back to ice
Caught up in my hurt.

I am lost in you.
Will you be lost in me?
Together we are beautifully destructive
Our presence to eachother both mutually disruptive.

4 walls around me.
I sit and await.
I imagine an exit,
i anticipate my fate.

Hemp rope,
friction burns.
I am bound at the knees.
Hoping im really bound to please?

Coldness beneath me.
Hard stone floor.
He promised to make me,
his special little *****.

Each limb of mine aching,
While emotionally chastised.
I expect he’ll ignore
my most desperate of cries.

He walks toward me,
He strokes my hair.
Then pull on it tightly.
To gage my despair.

Stroking my face,
Gazing into my eyes.
With a look I’ve come
to recognize.

A single tear,
He wipes from my face.
“i promise to start slowly, then pick up the pace.”

It hurts when he hurts me.
I feel it twofold.
It hurts that he hurts me,
More than any threshold.

Physically restrained,
Still emotional ******* hurts more.
But he promised to make me,
his special little *****...