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 Nov 2014 Wesley A
El
It was not my choice to be, nor was I born to be
But as I grew, it was what was sought of me
The fiery ambition,
The coldness in my tone,
Was what helped me grow to be so alone,
My father only taught me, to drink away my fears,
My mother taught me the best way, to hide my painful tears,
And so I am a monster in disguise
Forever stuck in pain, and giving out the rest of your lies
"I am okay"
"I fell"
Are some that I tend to tell
Even though I am stuck in my own nightmarish hell.
And even though
it was not my choice to be, Nor what I was born to be
I will forever be a punching bag, on the brink
Of the monster that taught me how to drink
Fading* in the shadows
Is where
I feel at home
Hidden from piercing gazes
Up and down
my soul they roam

Drawing back the curtains
They feed on
my heart
Tearing at my emotions
A worn sadistic art

Driven through a world
Etched in toxic blood
Altered through war and greed
D**rowning in green mud
 Nov 2014 Wesley A
Mary Oliver
Cold now.
Close to the edge. Almost
unbearable. Clouds
bunch up and boil down
from the north of the white bear.
This tree-splitting morning
I dream of his fat tracks,
the lifesaving suet.

I think of summer with its luminous fruit,
blossoms rounding to berries, leaves,
handfuls of grain.

Maybe what cold is, is the time
we measure the love we have always had, secretly,
for our own bones, the hard knife-edged love
for the warm river of the I, beyond all else; maybe

that is what it means the beauty
of the blue shark cruising toward the tumbling seals.

In the season of snow,
in the immeasurable cold,
we grow cruel but honest; we keep
ourselves alive,
if we can, taking one after another
the necessary bodies of others, the many
crushed red flowers.
 Nov 2014 Wesley A
Pretty Panic
I think something went wrong when I was made
like God skipped a stitch and left
part of me gaping open and
when I was eight I found that thread and out of
sophomoric curiosity I started tugging
look at me now
a mess of tattered strips of fabric
all tangled up in the thread
that was supposed to hold me together
and sometimes I get it in my head
that someone will come along and
fix me
but that's never quite how it seems to work
because I was sick the day
everyone else got scissors
and so when I expect affection
I get rejection
and the cold snip, snip, snip
of the parts of me they want to take
and now there's not much left
underneath the pretty face
just tangled thread
and a graveyard of a heartbeat
 Nov 2014 Wesley A
untitled
2-25-14
 Nov 2014 Wesley A
untitled
meet me in the hazy
smoke filled room.
hold my hand
and guide me to the exit.
i'd much rather fill my lungs
with you instead.
She often seems confused, and pauses midway
through a task, unsure which way to go,
and drops her task to move on to another.
With hurting feet and tunnel vision, hearing
muffled, voices staticky and loud,
confusion is a sea she cannot swim.
She is an hourglass, her memory,
slow falling through the hole, and all her days
are passing through a chasm out of reach.
The old one slowly turning back to child,
needs mothering from children till she's born.

(C)2014, Christos Rigakos
Blank Verse
 Nov 2014 Wesley A
CJ Hattingh
Madness stricken they left me here
to rot in my own sanity
a lost soul
burdened to dwell within the halls
of my broken mind

this is my cross to bare
and none shall ever know
on the outside I'm just myself
but inside I died long ago.
 Nov 2014 Wesley A
WickedHope
I am choking out syllables in an effort to feel better
What kind of poet am I
Using words for my own personal gain
I am less than words, even my own ****** ones
I am less than words because
I don't even know who I am
That I can claim any in the first place
Sometimes they are my alternative
Others the foreplay to danger
Words are just these
Things
I abuse and misuse
In an effort to escape my reality
If only for the length of a poem
Rant? Maybe?
**** it.
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