I feel you might slip away,
Like one wrong move and the ice cracks,
And there you fall, you drown,
What we have will be lost,
Goodbye us.

Am I walking on egg shells?
Or did I step onto spikes,
Only to blame you, like you did this,
Like its your fault I’m trapped
When in reality, I placed myself in danger,
Did I make up this change?

Would you care if I left?
How stupid of me, I know you would,
I know you love me, and you know I love you,
And yet, here I am,
Scared you’ll see it as more than that.

I will not lose you, I promise that,
You are my friend after all,
You’d help me pick up the pieces,
You’d help me get back on track,
So I know you’d do that for us too.

Clearly, I am all over the place…
But I guess you’re used to that,
This is just another of my rants.
Thanks for listening like always big brother,
I’m glad I have you.

I can’t get the after taste of you out of my mouth,
My demons feed upon your words,
Like you spoke the truth, like you was right.
It eats at my mind until I doubt what I think,
“He’s right you know” “You deserve this”,
I thought they were almost defeated,
And then they met you, you gave them hope,
And now they feast stronger than before.
You ****** me up, but I cannot let you win,
I will not let you to corrupt me any more,
You mean nothing, my fiends will die,
And along with them, so will the memories of you.
Old friend, this game you play is bitter sweet,
But I’ve let you take lead for too long,
I am stronger than you, I deserve more than the lies you told,
I will not give up, I will not let you defeat me.
Game on, now I’ve started to play.

I think I’m addicted to pain.
Not my own, mostly others.
It hurts to hurt them though,
I just cant help myself…
I fall in love too quickly,
Then back out just as fast.
Like they meant nothing,
Like we were nothing.
I’m not myself like this,
If I was it wouldn’t hurt,
Id feel happy hurting,
But I don’t, not at all.
Maybe I should run,
Get out while I still can.
Or maybe I should tell you,
Tell you to leave, to turn and go.
This poem has no rhythm,
But its the most honest I’ve been,
I’m a ******* mess sometimes,
But maybe thats the point,
I suffer, because others suffer
And I guess thats my fault.
I am lying to myself,
And that means I lie to you.
I say what I don’t mean,
But in that moment, its true.
I wish I never thought that.
I cant love if I cant love myself.
Maybe that’s my problem…
I’m sorry if I hurt you,
Deep down, I do love you.
Deep down, I am sorry.

You are forbidden.
Like the fruit Eve was told not to eat
Like if I touch you, everything,
Everything we worked for,
It will be lost.
Gone.

How do I say I love you?
When you have a “do not touch” sign
Tattoo across your chest,
If I even thought that too loudly,
You would turn and run.
…

We both love chaos.
Maybe, just maybe, I don’t love you,
Maybe I love the trouble.
But right now,
In this moment with you,
I’m in love with your…
Eyes
Smile
Your laugh, its your laugh.
I love you Trouble Maker
And you can’t ever know.

You think he’s yours,
You think your love,
Is something we all should wish for.
In reality,
He lays with me,
In the bed behind your door.
When you’re at work,
Or watching the kids,
You reckon he’s gone to the bar,
But he’s holding me,
Saying sweet nothings,
Things aren’t what you think they are.
For now he’s mine,
I know its wrong,
But don’t stop me from having fun.
One day you’ll leave,
And he will be free,
But that is when I will run.

“Quiet” he says, its easier when I’m quiet,
But how can I be quiet when he’s stabbing at me.
“Breathe” he says, its easier when I breathe,
But how can I breathe with a hand gripping my neck.
“Smile” he says, its easier when I smile,
But how can I smile when he’s shattering my innocence.
“Moan” he says, its easier when I moan,
But how can I moan when my whole body is screaming in pain.
“Beg” he says, its easier when I beg,
But how can I beg when I want his hands off my body.
“Cry” he says, its easier when I cry,
But how can I cry when I know that’s what he enjoys.

You have red, blue, and white pills on your hand
Drink it up and make it stop
All the pains in your heart.
But, you are better than that.
Better than the people who called your body.
Better than the people who called you ugly.
Cause you are wanted.

You have knife on your hand,
Ready to cut your wrists
Bleed out all those aches and worries.
But, you are better than that.
Better than your problems.
Better than your miseries.
Cause you are important.

You have rope on your hand,
Lace it around your neck
Drown your mind, drown your demons.
But, you are better than that.
Better than your ugly thoughts.
Better than the voices in your head.
Cause you are not alone.

And you did the best for staying alive.