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Initial J Dec 2020
Listen up, please
Because, I've got a story, of the people who disagree
One, is always on the fence, the other in the tree
It's left and right, it's black and its white
And no matter what, it's always a fight
Sure, one can try, to settle the other down
But, the other one, runs the other in the ground
It seems like they're just in it, for the round and round
Some aren't much, for the roller coaster
rides
And some are thrill seekers
Looking for attention, from when they almost die
Been there, done that, almost died twice
At my own hand, as a sacrifice
For the other one before, who turned out to be a *****
And when they found, love renewed
Apparently, it was time to pay another due
As if their life wasn't enough, they still stayed tough
Then let them, beat them up
Then acted like, they didn't give a ****
All they ever do, is try to see “what's up”
Maybe, patch them back up
But who is there for them, when they need it
Because all they really see, is their bleeding
No matter how much pain, they still live through the strain
Feeling like their life, was just a stain
Everyday is insane, yeah sure I'll take another complaint
Please fill out this form
Or toss it back, brave another storm
No, I won't use terms like him or her
I truly feel, I don't belong on this earth
Might as well, just load me in a hearse
It's all my life is worth
I wish I could say, “well it couldn't be much worse”
Then, when that's said
The other ones, will surely be the first
I will always, come in last
I believe, in having a little class, not showing your ***
Trying to make everything, good or bad last
Just to find, it didn't mean a thing
All that effort, isn't worth doing
When no one's there, to push you on the swing
So there is no back and forth, just standing still
Waiting, just to leave the dirt
So why live out, a living hell
When everyone you ask for help
Pretty much tells you "Go **** yourself"
This one is old, found it in some old files
Initial J Dec 2020
To live or give up living
Living is more of a suggestion
Wether you suffer the aches and pains
Of the depressing ebbs and flow
Or you face life head on
Getting past the insurmountable odds
To die, to be free from overwhelming anxiety
That comes with the natural flow of life
We all want to be without strife
And maybe by dying we are transported
Possibly to a better realm of existence
There's the problem though
When we die where will we end up?
Eternal grace? Horrible eternal punishment?
When we push away these normal feelings
You take a moment, to honor that choice
Because that anxiety makes the struggle of life seem that much longer
Why would you choose to prolong such pain?
The people who hurt you, others so proud of themselves they can't even see their flaws
The hearts broken from careless past loves, when proper justice seems like inaction, the politicians that don't seem to take the oath of office to heart, and the pain that comes with the patience of waiting for the wrongs to be righted, but if not you to bear these weights of depression then who would take the toll?
You stay quiet in public but take on the world in the little uneasy rest you can hardly obtain
Taking all this on not knowing what is yet to come when death arrives at your door and no one you know has entered into death and returned to tell you of its glory or it pains and you have no idea if you have the will to carry on with no idea of reward in death
And yet we deal with issues at hand not knowing whether it will be better or worse when we finally give up and die?
These ideas haunt the back of everyone's mind and makes even the strongest of us cower in fear of not knowing what's next
Although we may approach the day with sunny disposition a shadow of doubt is in the back of everyone's mind
We may do something heroic or brave or possibly selfless
But with these thoughts in the back of our mind at all times
These amazing acts seem to lose all merit
If Shakespeare were alive today
Initial J Sep 2020
Goodbye Sanity
Hello Sadness
Goodbye Madness
Hello Manic
Goodbye Panic
Hello Intoxication
Goodbye Personification
Hello Logoparvusphobia
Goodbye Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
Hello Poetry
Yeah I got a problem here
Initial J Sep 2020
It's okay, I'm dead
There is nothing you can do
Living was alright...
But death was overdue

So say your unsaid thoughts
To the corpse you hardly knew
Maybe bid a nice farewell
To my smile stitched askew

You can say you will remember
We both know this isn't true
All that I could really try
Is to forever haunt you
Death is the great equalizer, if I don't currently haunt your dreams maybe when I shuffle off my mortal coil I can turn into a sick *** ghost and stuff
Initial J Sep 2020
Objects in mirror
May be closer then they appear
So I don't look back
Because the past
Does not lead the pack
Careful backing up people
Initial J Sep 2020
At least not all the time
They only have to tell others
       What you think or feel
                                        About over here
Or maybe there
                       A poem can be anywhere
I mean anything
                    It doesn't have to rhyme
         But maybe it does sometime
I meant something
                           You know structures not important
         To some degree it makes things easier
Who I am trying to please anyways
      Art is art
  If that's what you believe in your heart
Or maybe your head
                            Could be your soul
             If you hadn't sold it already
     Wait what.....
Where was I going with this....
                 Oh yeah, poem.
I mean why not
Initial J Sep 2020
I'm feeling quixotic
I'm definitely all there
But I also feel like I'm not

Always felt neurotic
On the verge of breaking down
Seems like I'm utterly toxic

If you see me being manic
You don't have to be scared
I'm the one who will panic

Try you hardest to look past
I'll work even harder still
To make sure you'll forget this outcast
Expanding my vocabulary to please the populous to the contrary that it can be quite necessary to be educated to disprove the doubts that they all carry
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