I wait, you show
I smirk, you smile
We walk, hands reach
Grab hold, just joy
That's lovely.

Constantly
on my mind
pounding
As fast as the beat you feel
when you put your hand over your heart

I need to be better
I need to get better
I need to be better
I need to get better
I can't stay this way anymore

I hate it
but I can't scream

Just one day I hope I can be who you believe me to be
whoever or whatever it is that you see

Hey why don't you come this way
Don't mind the mess in my room
It's only to match the state of my head

Disarray feels like home to me
My life's a mess
And it feels like home to me

You can come a little closer
I won't bite, unless that's what you want
And it's on your mind
kinda like mine

How long have I been dead
It's a little sad how I desire this dance
How long have I been empty
It's a little sad how you're here with me

Can't you see I'm searching for my purpose
I'm a lost cause

Look at me again
with those guarded eyes,
freckled with bitterness
like glitter, and the forgotten love you can still taste on your tongue.

Do you breath a sigh of relief, now that you're gone?

My want is an ungranted wish
Since my words shot down all of the stars
That you once cast your gaze upon.

I've lost my friends
I don't think I'll find them again

Does it matter who was wrong and who was right?

I've gone to sleep without words from you for the past couple of nights

On the outside things look fine

But sooner or later it'll get out
you're no longer comrades of mine....


But I wish you the best in life and
it ***** you're no longer apart of mine

As your fingers run down my back
I exhale as if it were my first breath
in years

I shiver but not from the cold
you send a shock through my system
now I'm feeling whole

We lock eyes and in that moment
we know what I've always known
that this is something special

Life built a maze to protect my heart
but somehow you knew the way
how to bypass the Minotaur
the sharks in the water
the claws in the dark
You found a home inside
Without me knowing I still had space for you

As your fingers caress my face
I nuzzle against your palm
in a way I'd never admit
I've wanted this possibility of vulnerability

If you ever grew wings, to get away
I'd slay the sun
to keep your wax from falling apart
rather than allowing death to tear us apart

Depths of the mind
Feelings arise, and fade
Like a wisp of smoke
Something peaks over the horizon
A conflicting emotion

Along the lines of something and nothing
Amidst a battle of my dark
and the yearn of a glimpse of your light....
I'm not alright

Something happens when you've found that special some one
Akin to love at first sight

I only saw you through my window
I only saw you through my window
for many months
emotion stirred up, it seemed so simple

But you'll never know
But you'll never know.....

I can hear you
stumbling there in the dark
but I can't see you
and it just tears me apart
I feel you there, every day
I'm still not sure, what gets in the way
I have been somewhat okay
and I'd rather not hurt
Just to stir something awake
I hope that isn't the way to find
my miracle words from pain

I wanna give up.

I want to be wanted

I want to be chased

I want to run in circles

I want to make a figure 8

And you get used to it

So when I stop
It'll be unexpected

I feel like a ghost
wanting more
Can you warm my cold soul
I've seen you smile
and light up a room
I've seen you make cheeks go from pale to rose
can you flash that smile on me
I've always seen it from afar
I bet your laughter reaches the furthest star
causing supernovas
can I just hear it if I speak about the nonsense I feel myself
to be

All the ones that have become before
Have become teachers in lessons I didn't know I was taking part of

Accidentally entering classes where I learned of

Love, lust
Smiles, distrust
Guilt through temporary fun
Beauty and how tears can tear apart the fabric of a fabricated realities

Now I only want to be a scholar who puts their education to good use

Can I show you the results of a combined effort, and thank the ones who matter?

Can I be what they never wanted someone else to have

To you?

Falling away
like leaves from autumn trees
Like summer departing
it feels quite alarming
how fast it became hard to sleep
No longer easy to walk ever since
the spring in my step
became a web that entangles
my world
of winter
it's become so cold
since all of my friends have gone
and the question
echoes and echoes inside my mind
What have I done?

I don't feel as stable
as I make it out to be
I don't feel as solid
as I pretend to be
sometimes it feels like
just one word, one look, one touch
could break me
into a million pieces
and the thought of that
also feels me with an odd sense of peace
I already feel like a puzzle thats missing a piece
I'd pray to a god on me knees
if there was ever a sign to make me believe
that all this wasn't wishful thinking
Just hopeful make believe

Gone are the feelings of yesterday
It really doesn't matter where I stay

Gone are the feelings of yesterday
No longer have to wonder what I will eat

Gone are the feelings of yesterday
But my first taste of love may still hurt me

Gone are the feelings of yesterday
And yet it feels as if I never made it to today

Sometimes your mind's stuck rewind
and play

Just try to grow....

Those whispered words flow
out into the atmosphere
when you speak
Fading
spoken as a truth
that was never ever here

You're okay
You're okay
How many times
have I heard
that

How long will it be till you realize
I never once believed in the lie you'd tell

This arrival, a blessing
We teetered between the dozens of words, spilling forth while only revealing, the few.
A balance between witty banter or that avoidance of awkward

Just breathe
I tell myself again and again
To avoid tilting into over stepping
Whatever, THIS, right now is
I unexpectedly felt a warmth growing in my chest
A smirk of bliss graced my lips

Like an empty cavern
This hollow secret place was once barred and closed off
Till you stepped in like a miner
with your lamp of words and touch
You turned this place into your home
Little did I know, day by day
You'd dig in close
And chip away at me
more and more
Till the day you cast me like a die in a game
I couldn't yet know I was to be a pit stop
on your road to find a place to go
I was not the knight that had come to rescue you, if only it were so
I went from being a lonely soul
To now understanding what more the world could hold

I know it wasn't the end goal
But my naivety
Left me without a way to know that I would be
a paper castle in a storm....

Tracing these fingers
along your pretty face
why you've graced me with your presence
I could not say

I am undeserving
to say the least
and no matter what you say
it's hard for me to ever believe in
any of the good you see in me

you wake and your lips form a smile
I freeze for a moment
but eventually figure out how to with my face
I'm still not good with showing genuine feelings
I feel broken but your smile does something to me
untangles my insides and makes me feel
like I can breathe

I am undeserving
to say the least
and no matter what you say
it's all I can believe in
is that I love you
and for some reason unknown
you also love me