because when she was young,

people would ask her

"what superpower,

do you wish for?"

so without any hesitation

she replied "invisibility."

and then,

and then she grew up realising

it came true.

No one seems to understand what I withhold.
Within these walls of golden locks are memories.
Memories that seem to be on repeat.
They aren't a romantic comedy.
They aren't all love and joy.
But nor are they all pain.
They're the looks and laughs shared.
They're the ones that remain.
Those you can't forget and cause hurt.
The stabbing sensation you can't shake.

There are times I wonder if it's hard for him too.
However, life goes on and I can't help
but think he does too.
So why does this happen,
Why is it like this?
Why are we so separated?
Even when we're together, things seem amiss.
It's not that you love me.
It's not that I love you.
It's that we are always drawn together.
Never by our own intentions.
It's like someone just knew.
How we were, how we used to be.
I think we honestly used to both feel so free.
Living apart, but harmoniously.

I still think about that first day you asked.
How it wasn't the first thing you questioned, but the last.
Then you said you were happy, but tired you said.
You needed sleep, and then went to bed.
I remember that night though it's so long ago.
You seemed you happy, but how could I know.
You were really truly nervous.
Now I know that.
It wasn't just me, actually both,
As a matter a fact,
We couldn't quite grasp how we felt that day,
It took us a while to realize I'd say.
That we were both so unaware that the other was equally as uncomfortable
With another being closer than ever before.

There are many reasons it's over.
I honestly don't know one.
But maybe that's what you wanted.
Maybe now you're having fun.
You got what it was,
another girl I suppose.
I hope she makes you happy.
She says that she does.
I can't say I don't wish for different, I do.
But I still hope there is more of us
Maybe more of me and you
Being so close, but distant and enabled,
Of touching and talking, or being emotionally unstable.

I guess you could say this bank has a limited supply.
Memories don't just come from normal days or any old time.
They're always different things like accidents and run-ins, you know?  
They may not seem special,
But they are the best things.

He sometimes comes up in your stories too.
Fondly I think of him, but would he remember?
I certainly still do.
You act like he no longer exist.
I know better than that tall tale.
The one of you and him,
No longer seeing one another. There,
Among other things, is one pain.
The pain of the truth, and memories made.

I often blamed myself for tragedy.
You said not to worry.
But you also said he doesn't matter,
And that there is no hurry
To see the new.
You know, what that told me?
You weren't ready for rude,
Awkward battle between you and him.
You said you were, of course,
However, that's never how things end.

I have hope for the two of you yet.
It's said that you hate him.
You did drop a few threats,
One on me, in the beginning.
For that I don't know why.
Nonetheless, I also thank you even if someone else is winning.

Is it so hard to be honest?
I never knew. Did you
Ever even care for her,
Or maybe I was the lie.

Was I really just too hard to withstand?
The selfless girl must help,
Again being misused. Misread,
Misjudged, all she really wants is love.

You kissed with compassion,
Like she was the only one.
She knew better though,
Knowing it was all "in fun."

So what about the other,
The one you claim to be yours?
Is she truly important,
Or worth as much as the floors?

Did you lie to her, are you still to me?
You act like there's no tradgedy.
I see your destruction, I'm your victim of pain.
Lord help me not to say this in vain:

Is it her or is it me?
You filthy creature, hurting all
Gentle women. What did we do to you?
You're no man, just simply a fool.

We females aren't dumb,
Sentimental at best.
You're the rude, almost evil,
I don't know 'bout the rest.

You didn't say, "Come here and stop being so scornful, you stubborn little woman."

So I didn't say, "Why should I?"

And You didn't say, "Because I love you."

And I didn't put aside my fears and doubts to bury myself in your arms and say, "I know."

And You never held me while I cried happy tears of relief as I added, "I love you too."

The one bedroom apartment;
where your drinking habits only scare your cat.

There were nights inside these walls I sleep in tears
Questioning why am I living, for what do I exist?
They say all I am is not what should it be
Who I am is wrong and I cannot be freed

I lay myself crying again behind these walls
They keep pushing me on trying, they wanted me to be like all
Helplessly I pretended that I am standing on their side
But I cannot be happy, I am turning black and white

I struggled to be like them and I was caught in the middle
I have been pushed, bullied and I found my self little
I am not like who they are and I know I will never be
Why they cannot it understand? Why they cannot see?

I started to live my life alone, away from creatures called people
They always make everything complicated when at the first place it's just simple
I hide myself away in obscure place where no one will find
Where I will be safe and no expectations that I will mind

I grew numb about hatred, being an outcast, and about pain
I'm living my life in silence and being nonchalant - I am trained
I walk alone by myself and I didn't even care
Better be off alone than with someone who won't even stay

They tortured me, they punished me not in my flesh but deep inside
Not using a knife nor a needle work but it can diminish a life
My soul is really hurt and they're leaving me half-heartedly
Their fatal words were lingering,I am bleeding unendingly

Why they are all treating me like I was never ever been belonged?
Is it 'cause I'm living differently and I am never like them at all?
How come I became any less when I am capable of doing more?
They're judging me based on their ignorance, they're judging me on what they do not know

I suffered, I have been bruised and yes, I cried
And yet these walls remain silent standing right at my side
It became my witness of all my heartbreaks, of how my tears burned me
It listened on my inner madness, it saved every pieces of me

Like these walls I'll be standing tough and high
I'll be strong, you won't hear any from me, you'll never see me die
I'll stay colored, graceful and I will make you realize
I am the most beautiful, my days will be immortalized

I may be destroyed, manipulated, grew up confused
I am who I am, to stay the same I will choose
I can show you I can be the greatest, and everyone will be amused
You can insist that I should be someone else, but I'll fight, I'll refuse.