Tell me
If the light i know
Is darkness
How will i find my path
In this abyss.

If the happiness i know
Is the pain
of self inflicted wounds
What really is the price
for infinite happiness.

If the love i have
Is the love of hate
And a lonely heart
How will i find love
If hate is my love.
©Hilla

She's done
Finalizing her first poem
Happiness shines from her eyes
Sharing a excerpt from her
Train of thoughts
Was a part of her dreams.

She gleams in joy
While proofreading it
Cause she believes everyone
Can relate to it
But it's been 15 hours
Since she posted it
95 views but no one's reacted to it
Not even a like or a do better
Next time comment
Self esteem has shaded
a dark veil over the spark of creativity
Now she just scribbles scripts
That never make it to the editors cut
Doesn't come out from her room
Anymore
Her best friend now is silence
For as she says, He allows her to speak

The shade is wearing off
Like a coat of old paint
That's peeling everyday against my will
It doesn't feel poetic anymore.

The overflowing words
I drowned in them
Envisioned to Engineer change
But it's like i became
What i set out to destroy.

The chants in the silence
Torture every second,every minute
Painting pictures
With highly metaphorical word's
That are blurry
And out of focus every time.
©Hillα

Can i shut off the consciousness frequency
The non resting voice lamenting
About choices i don't wanna revisit
Never rest even when i sleep
I just have to sleeptalk about it
Cause it's like you left
With no plan of returning
Into the dark deep abyss
Drew a veil over life
They now say you ain't no more
But the memories are so fresh
I don't understand what they say.

Can i rewind the tape all the way back
When it was all about innocence
When i never knew how to lose
When i never felt guilty of choices
Not mine to make
Can i get it all back from the start
All the happiness that was
You be so rude 2019
Promise to care.

©Hillα

It was hard to be man
Never had a inclusive guide
Life's exclusive hand out manual
Instead,
I lived by my rules
If you heard my thoughts
By day and night
You know it all
You know i really liked her
I would gift the world to her
The stars and the moon too
Though they belong to you
And the ups and downs
Turned me upside down
Mom Said they were there
To make us strong
But sometimes the downs
Were stronger
Thought of cursing life
Under my breath
If it would end the pain, end it all
But the will to live
Always won.
©Hillα

Love (down)

I love you
And you will never hear me say
That I don't
I know
We are meant to be
I can't believe that you think
You're not beautiful
I'm sorry but
You are mine
You can never say that
I'm lying

Evol (up)