I took the memories
Poured them down the drain
I do not retain
A single stain

My passed is gone forever
Its a little too clever
Or so I thought

If I erased my past
It would always last
She comes to me whispering

My dreams of her haunt
In a dungeon of taunts
The pain flaunts

The doctor asks what's wrong
I can't sing the song
I've forgotten from so long

It plagues my being
I'm still sitting there weeping
Blocked away from my frontal lobe

I am like a globe
I begin to mope
If shook around

If left alone I'll be bland
No harm or evil plans
My brain is at ease

I shake at night in my dreams
I'm left with awful feelings
Uncertainty what it means

I shiver and hurt
Pain hidden under my shirt
The scars are there

My heart is bare
I swear it so
I am not broke

Not anymore
For this I must be sure
I am a new girl

I do not know the other
Must not speak of her ever
If you are clever

Leave it behind
Pay it no mind
Or else I'll lose mine

Living like this is fine
The nightmares are for sleep
The new me isnt for the weak
What you can see is free
I can pretend
That is me
I'm free
Or so it seems

Shifting shifting
Into gear
I'm driving without fear
Vroom vroom
So far I go
Where I do not know

Chit chat chit chat
They all speak
Without them I am weak

Swirling swirling
My Brain is fried
I let out and cry

Nic NAC nic NAC
Give myself  a slap
I need to take a nap

Plic plac ship lac
I need a whicky snack
For I am not a bat

I'm losing my mind
It bellows obscenities
Can I still follow the rhyme

I lost track of time
I have no dime ?
Save me save me sir mime

It makes no sense
Too much suspense
My body is too tense

I want it to stop
   Please God
Let it stop
I'm tired
It's screaming
Tens of voices
New ideas
So many choices
I forget them
Before I start them
Then I'm off exchanging myself
For a new shelf
I'm talking
I'm dancing
I'm cleaning
I'm
ScrEAMING  
It's creamy~
Words words
They don't add up

Help me help me
god above
Help me help me
Ones I love
I'm losing my ****
I'm losing all of it

Am I bipolar
Or just ******* nuts
I cannot contain my lusts
I want it all
I want a nap
I want to fall
And run a lap

La la la la lee do da da
I sing a little song
La la la le do da da
I cry a little long
La la la le do da da
I scream hahahAHAHAHA

I am not an Artist~
I am not a talent
I am nothing much
But leftover lunch

Molding and burning
In the evening sun
My end has begun
I am in need of savior
No chance with my flavor

Throw me away
Let me sleep
I am a jumbled up mess
Trying to count too many sheep

Peep peep little one
I am insane
I took your brain
And set it on a plane
It'll never return
The same

You are to blame
Who are you
Who am I ?
Maybe I'll know
When I die

I'm lost
Not in any wonderland
Inside my own brain
Inside this dead land
There's not much light
I'm not sure where to go
Where to even begin

I've been stuck
In the same place
I thought I escaped
To be free
But only to escape
To my own hell
No longer others torture
Just my own

Is this freedom
I know not what to do with it
I had fun
I drew the colors
I sang and believed
But find myself
Laying still
Going nowhere
But the same hell
In my mind

She screams
To be let go
To sleep
For nothing means anything
Those screams I've heard before
Hit the same
But different
So I cut them
Then rest as they entangle me

Nothing will set me free

Racing thoughts pain my brain
Some good
Some old
Some new
Theres so many things
Too many things

I don't know what this brings
But I cannot let go
Of the past
The fear
The love
The torture
Still holds me back

In spring it always attacks
The mania
The false happiness
The desire to start anew
But not sure where to
I'm still afraid
I'm lost
I'm a mess
What can I change

I'm ***** my hairs a mange
My house scattered in filfth
I feel it inside me
I drive fast windows down
I feel so much
The memories consume me
The lust
The ****
The bruises
The excitement
All in one flash

I may act rash
My brain is racing
But my body is lazy
It hurts still
How do I let it go
I want to move on
To live a new life
But to hold onto the old
I cannot do this

Mania mania mania
Screaming screaming
Ahhhhhh fun fun fun
Clean! CleAN
C L E AN MY FILFTH
START NEW
RUN
R. U. N.
FASTER
WHERE WHERE WHERE
HELP


I cannot fathom how to let it go
How to breathe in peace
My thoughts forever consume me
They always win
I just want to live
I suppose
Fresh happy and cleansed

When will I learn to breathe ?