Hello Daisies

Apr 2019

Emma P

Sun

When I say
that you are my Sun,
I don’t mean that you are
Luminous,
Brilliant,
Gilded,
Beautiful,
Bold,
Warm,
Or even the center of my universe.
I simply mean that
I cannot look at you
Without hurting

#sun #love #heartbreak #crush

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Galaxies

I feel
       shining
S h i m m e r i n g
Galaxies
In my heart

I see yellow
S wi~rling
Magic
In your soul

I see the stars
In the colors
Of the day

   The milky way
Is but a step away
In your eyes

I see love
From all
Like a blackhole
Breaking me into it
Never escaping

Twinkling
   Twinkle
              Twinkle
Little beauty
   You are everywhere
I can see it in most everyone

But i don't think
They see it
In
Me

:(

#love #stars #galaxy #lonely #space #beauty

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Cough

I cough
Dry heaves come about
I keep trying to cough it out
But it's empty

People ask me to stop
I try to hold it in
Then i choke on myself

I intake fluids
To heal my burning
I cough it back up

My throat is dry
She will not be soothed
Any medication
Will be thrown up

Good luck
Trying to drown out
The nuance
That my pain can cause

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Hungover

Shaking
Shivering
Dry
Throat

Breathe me in
Eat me whole

I'm quivering
From your deep soul

Numb
Sensitive
Crooked
Tongue

I'm thirsty
Fill me with your water

You call me lovely
Like a daughter

Red
Screeching
Paranoid
Shooting
Brains

Tell me your words
Devour my mind

Please look into my eyes
And try to be kind

Sup

#sick #sad #loveless #alone

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Some day

Will i ever be loved?
Will i ever be anyone's first?
Will i ever be noticed?

they tell me it's in my head
But they don't see what i see
I'm always a last choice

Am i wanted?
Am i needed?
Am i special?

They say god loves me
They say he chose me
Yet all i hear is deafening silence

I scrape and claw
For attention
I end up ******
And scarred

Others merely exist
People go to them
Giving affection
Without being begged

Here i am
Where i always knew
Sitting alone
With a hangover overblown

I've never been noticed
Even if i act out
I could scream and shout
No-one will look

How can i live
How can i be ok
How can i breathe
How do i accept lonliness

Maybe one day
I'll write a song
Of love and warmt
And not wavering sadness
And desperation

Maybe..
Some...
Day

Im livinf on my own nkw...the guy i like i realize...doesn't...like me...as usual. It's ok. Theres something about me everyone denies it but there is that cuases people to forget me

#lonely #sad #afraid #depression #love

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Fear of joy

I've been through hell
I've been laughed at
Mocked and rejected
Living in darkness

Been through it all
No rise only fall
Been homeless
Starved nearly to death

Starved of light
Starved of anything bright
So i stopped and asked myself
Why am i so scared
I've gotten out fair

Every rejection
Every horrifying disturbance
Every pain
Every hurt

I've gotten back up
Walked away from bad luck
Yet my heart fears
I think i realized behind my tears

I'm afriad to be happy
I'm afraid of anything good
Someone compliments me
And i run away

I rather be insulted
I rather be rejected
I rather be beaten
And bruised

I don't understand
Kindness or a helping hand
What are your intentions
Something evil i dare not mention?

If i feel happy that's not good
If i feel joy I'm sinning
And death and gloom will come
Grinning

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Afraid

Numb deep within
Can't feel my feet
Up to my heart
Do i exist?

Anytime i feel
It hurts
Everyrhing races
i am afriad

I can't remeber
Ever belonging
Not in a social sense
Or being real

I get too tired
I feel as a child
Seeing monsters
Giant man eating
Lobsters
Demons running amok
Every breath of mine is bad
Luck

I swear to god
I belong in a mental institute
Im not real
Are you?

I'm alone
Ive been alone forever
And ever more
I'll be alone

My life is flashing
It's all been so quick
And I've hated every second
Of my breathing

I miss my mother
I miss my brothers
My whole family
I think played a big whammy
They must be fake too
My scared eyes sometimes see
Through

Theres a veil you see
Doctors say it's anxiety
Thats a lie to keep me busy
We aren't real

I'm so scared
I can't describe this fear
It never leaves me
I'm shivering and afraid
The monsters coming to consume me

Look hard enough
You'll see real mosnters
Slenderman and demons
Theyre all real
Mocking us

Im still a little girl
Sad and afriad of the world
All i see is fear and creatures
Lurking with no ****** features
No one will hold me
My soul is ******* empty

Is god real
Why won't he answer me
He probabaly is around
And ignoring me
That is the theme of my
Reality

Can someone just hold me
Let me forget my dark reality
Im so ******* afraid
I must be extremely brave
I see demons larger then i can comprehend
Yet i go out and still stand

If someone held me
And didn't leave
Maybe for ahwile
I would feel real
And not as a scared
Child

I get exhausted and dossociate from realoty

#anxiety #fear #child #lost #dissociation #depression #lonely #sad