I want the buzz
of being proud.
I want to dance of pure joy;
And overall feel satisfied
that I've done what I've been doing
and forgiven what I have not.

Pain stings from those we hold so near,
From hearts we cherish, love so dear.
Separating love from hurt's cruel art,
Is the challenge of the tender heart.
A puzzle, in life, we'll still impart

Never thought about being myself
Self reflecting my being
And what is it meaning
In this meaningless reality
Unreal hopes, expectations too many
We all thought that we’re special
When we were kids
Childish dreams broke on the walls
Of existence
I’m existing
But barely living
Like everyone else
Had too many demands from this life
Like everyone else
Never wanted to be like everyone else
Like everyone else never wanted to be
Like everyone else, just like me
I’m philosophizing nothing no more
I just wanna go through the door
Of this reality
What is behind
What is hiding there
Is it real the energy qi
Is it empowers me
Or shall I call it kundalini or shakti instead
I was so “no commitment”
But now I’m entangled
With someone who was just a stranger before
Am I worth anything
Am I a little bit talented?
Or just as special as everybody
Wanted to be somebody some day
Well.. sounds like thousand tomorrows to me
To be honest I’m just afraid that there’s nothing left for me
But maybe nothing is already something
Something special
Something the most valuable
Even if it’s not easy to comprehend
Maybe that’s what they call balance
No bad karma
No good karma
Means no karma at all
And settles you free
Ha ha
Very funny
The vanity is pouring out of me
Not realistic, still a dreamer
Still a kiddo
No big plans
No big goals
Just to be
Because I never understand these people
Motivations
What makes them do what they do
Makes them create more content
In this era of informational pollution
Why to make even more
Aren’t we all just toxic
Encouraged by our ego
Supported by our parents’s
Unrealized desires
I wish I had desires
But I don’t feel much
Staying comfortably numb
Well… whatever

A writer's hands
are soiled in ink
and I know it
'cause I've written your name
over and over
and the black covers my skin
while I write of all your love
and all your pain and heartache

I’m at a crossroad in my life
There are three different outcomes
This decision I have to make has got to be the right one
It lies heavy on my head
And pulls out my heart
But I have to choose one
Only one
What if I want all three?
Is that an option?
Can’t there be a path which connects all these roads?
I hate this
I hate it
What should I do?
I can ask for advice
But only I hold the truth