I’m not ok but maybe tomorrow I will be
Maybe tomorrow all will be forgotten
Or maybe it’ll all be stuffed back inside
Back inside the jar that just about too full to hold anymore
Maybe tomorrow I’ll put my own feelings first
Maybe tomorrow you’ll notice when I leave the room to cry so I don’t burden you
Or maybe you already know and tomorrow you’ll care
Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and not hate myself for once
Maybe if I loved myself you would to
Maybe tomorrow I won’t be sitting here writing this with a tear stained face while you sleep peacefully in the next room
Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to lay in bed with you without crying and just wishing you knew I wasn’t ok
Maybe tomorrow I’ll want to see another tomorrow for myself

Mirror mirror on the wall
Whose the saddest of them all
Take my fist
Punch through the wall
Take some pills to end it all
Crawl crawl back to me
Second chance at agony
Happiness yes that’s the key
No more crying please help me
A little closer then you’ll see
The pain that’s truly eating me
Take me out of my head
Teach me to smile instead
Sometimes I’d rather be dead
And some days I can’t leave the bed
I just wanna smile like I mean it
Love like I never did
Run with the wind instead
Hold me like you mean it
Let this feeling never end

Last night I had a dream
You were there of course
Waking or sleeping it’s always the same
I can’t seem to erase you from my mind
Memories of our love bind my heart
Our love was like a flame
It burned bright and passionate
It was blinding and all consuming
Just like a flame our love burned out
Sometimes I wake and reach for your warmth
Remnants of the dreams we had still cling to me
But then reality hits me
Instead of you it’s loneliness that embraces me

Take my heart and crack it open
Come in closer
Sneak a peak
A peak at the truth
The truth of who I am
The things I’ve done
The things I’ve seen
The things I’ve loved
Take a look at what I crave the most
Wade waist deep in the sorrows drowning me
Shine your light on my darkness
Feed the tiny flame of hope still alight in my heart
This isn’t a goodbye letter
I’m sending out an SOS
Someone help me
I’m going under
Please someone save me

Maybe it would be easier
Easier to let go
If only you had said goodbye
You broke the rules of “see you later”
Saying goodbye means I’ll never see you again
But see you later is a promise
A promise that you’ll return
If not now then definitely later
It’s in the rules
It’s like a pinky promise
Unbreakable
What good are rules and promises
If they can’t be followed or kept
What good is a heart if it’s so **** breakable
What good is trust if it’s so easily betrayed
What good am I if I’m so easy to discard
What good will it do to still ache for you
What good was your love if it brought so much pain
Why couldn’t you just follow the **** rules

You know how when you’re trying to sleep
But your mind is racing
How you’re trying to be still
But your thoughts are on the move
Ideas, Regrets, What ifs, Fear
All demanding to be heard
To be felt
To be validated
You know how when you’re not ok
But you’re trying to be ok
And then someone ask you if you are ok
So you break down all over again
Sometimes you want them to read your mind
To know the answer before the question
You know that pain that’s so great it feels
Like a physical weight holding you down?
All you want is a hand to carry the load
A shoulder to leave tear stained
An embrace to feel safe and loved in
You know that feeling when you’re screaming inside
But still wanting desperately to be heard
The struggle of trying to save yourself
But still hoping for a hero