We wander around this world
For years as
Strangers in our own bodies
Until we're blindsided
By that special soul we meet, an important essence in our life that
Shapes us, molds us, and helps us find ourself by unknowingly extracting the passion from our veins
And shooting it blindly towards the stars.

You tell her you love her
she says "I know I can see it in your eyes"
you look into hers and beneath the aqua blue
you can see she loves you too.

But she won't say it. She just turns her head and bites her lip.
She's not supposed to say it.
Willpower is something I strip off nonchalantly baring my naked soul
she zips hers up and holds it tight, she's not ready to be free

You share a visible yet impassable love
a beautiful gift kept tied in a bow, never for the world to open
Two stars floating in the universe meant to collide
yet always passing each other by
Chemically balanced, but time is never on your side

The sparks fly spitting out flames
but never catching fire
All that remains is a shorted circuit
because she never could be free.

I gave up everything just to be with you
and ended up losing it all.
You flung your narcissistic charm at me
and my heart caught every bit of it willingly
like a young girl hungry for the spotlight

Kisses, roses, and promises you handed me
The kisses were shared, the roses they died,
and the promises were lies.
You lured me in with your big brown eyes
leaving me breathless and wanting more
You gave me more and then you took it away
and I fell to my knees in anguish.

A love that was doomed from the beginning
but I took that blind leap anyways believing in magic and trust
You betrayed that naïve girl who wore her heart on her sleeve
and left her to rot in the dust

I sulked in my bed sheets, craving death
peeking over the covers awaiting the grim reaper
It was a tragic year.
But then I started to grow
and I started to heal.
The world suddenly seemed so clear.
I fell in love with another face...that face looking back in the mirror.

I gave everything up. I lost it all. But I finally gained me.

First I met your soul..
It was a thunder-filled vortex, ******* me inside
before I could defy the gravity of it's pull.
There was no time to look. I was there. Inside your soul.
Inhabiting it.
Feeling it billow all around me like a heavy smoke.
Swallowed up by your unmitigated love.
Then I met your eyes...
They matched the color of  perfect exhilaration of your soul.
They danced around inside me like a gust of flurries released in a January storm.
Covering me even deeper.
Then I met your skin...
1000 strikes of lightning burning inside.
Desperate bodies clinging to each other in a swirl of madness,
an undeniable spark that is too vast even for perpetuity.
I know your skin.
I know your eyes.
I know your soul.

I saved up all my butterflies
and put them in a jar.
Soft and steady searching.
No aggression.
Only a girl aware of the flutters that whirled by.
With one cupped hand I fill my jar.
Sealing the top to prevent majestic escape,
but giving air, and the capability to flit.
One glorious day, I willingly hand you my jar.
Gentle release.
Butterflies float.
Butterflies fly.
A plethora of colors swirling in the atmosphere.
A new world.
A new start.
Intoxicating beauty.
Time.
Distance.
Rainbow fading fast.
Melting into the promise of night.
Dark.
Cold.
Empty jar.
Alone.
The jar is shattered.
Jagged shards sparkle in the dirt.
The remains of hope and patience.
New jar. Fill it up. Suffocated beauty.
Goodbye trust.
I'm left with an eternal jar of carcasses.