I hate that I'm invisible.
How do I play such a big part in everyone's life..
Yet no one notices me??

Everyone's got their own to nurse
Every moment, every day
They lament in the verses of their curse
Daily... More would be incited to join the fray

They want to be seen and heard
They want to be consoled
From the petty absurd
To death's design enrolled

Counting on ready ears
And arms open wide
For me to wipe my tears
And be by their side

But I too, am living my own
I too, bleed my pen dry
I too, feel the misfit of my bones
I too, have my recurrent days to ply

I guess that's just being human
Expecting solace through words of grievance
We try so feebly to share the weight of burden
In the hopes that we'd plot our existence

I understand that the urge is great
So much so that we tend to forget
Others too, have had enough on their own plate
On which we pile our leftovers without regret

I am still here but.. It's time for some quiet
Be all I could be with minimal words said
For right now it's not working, this illusion of an outlet
Because I still see demons when I lay in bed

People can't do much with something so brittle
One could stay afloat if he learns to shout
I wish I could be more to everyone but I know so little...
Of what I feel so much about...

Tangled up
in broken lines of
communication,
seeking out a
melody
that was never there.

Discordant sounds,
blocking them out like a
dam of
sticks and stones.

But your words, your
honest
unchosen
words
will never
break my bones.

For they are frail,
crumbling away when I
catch them in my
fingers
if even there at all.

Hanging for a moment
in the flushing heat
between us
before
dropping
like orbs of clouded glass
and shattering at my
feet.

Worthless now.
Fragments.

All the cuts on my
fingers
from trying to
pick up the pieces,
put them together,
nurse them
tenderly.
Seeking some meaning
hidden in
fractured light.

But you didn't
think of that:
do not realise
what I am
looking for.

But I am here.
I am here and I am
listening -
listening to endless
nothing.

For you make
pitiful words
priceless

because they are
yours.

Poetry
stops
the brain
and starts
the heart.

Pointy shoulder blade
- yours - digging into my cheek
Comfortable pain.

Now you hold my hand
Fingers threaded between mine
Hold it forever.

Interlocking limbs
You draw me in closer still:
Don't ever let go.

Fingertips tracing
(Please excuse my sweaty back)
Painting words on skin.

Your lips against mine
Tongues searching for an answer
How it came to this.

Though we won't complain
Laugh it off in the morning -
Just please don't forget.

A raw day
New and chaste
Like an unveiled bird cage
I am winged with bright eyes
A clean journal open to possibilities
You have scoured the rust from my heart
Leaving it a fresh, bleeding abrasion
That delightful hurt
Like cold hands thawing
Reminding me that I am still alive

it kills me to say this
but i've forgotten what your voice sounds like

it's been twenty-one days
and i am alive
(sometimes)

i want to drown myself in drugs
i want to drown myself in Jesus
i want to drown myself in self-loathing
i want to drown myself in you

the thought of kissing you
brought me solace on
sleepless nights
now it's the source of
my worst nightmares

i tried making dreams my reality
and reality my dreams
but you haunt every crack and crevice
of my being
i can't dust the places i can't reach

i am not well.

I'm
     NEVER
  Gonna
          Allow

    Men
           To
      Put

              Me
     D
         O
           W
         N

*Again