In mountains,
High in mountains,
You will some fresh air and less idiots around you.

It's understood,
It's not accepted,
It's shudderedly understood.

Sometimes it's a mystery,
Sometimes it's a lottery,
But it's always a mystery,
Because it's always a lottery.

Queues of our lives
Are not moving,
We are standing in them,
We are groaning and we are foaming.
We are getting mad,
We are getting dead,
We are suddenly getting happy,
We are waiting to meet a yeti,
Or to write some spectacular book,
And be off the hook.

Fifty shadows of silence
Are screaming at me.

Too much thinking is a slow killer,
Think about it,
But not too much.

Being frank here,
I think a lot

And I think about
my thinking

And I have a unique way of thinking
as do most people

But I combine my thoughts
with analogies
I conceive through
my creativity
And weave them
into words

Which I have learned to love
through my obsessive reading
in my elementary
school
days
...
That's it
I haven't read
enough official
published
poetry

I don't really
edit my
poetry
much

I don't overthink
it
too much
either

Just my thoughts,
on a lonely page
...
...
...
I've wondered time
and time again,
is this even
poetry?

My thoughts
carved with
a
choppy
cleaver

Rough on the edges
with spots of
honesty

As well as
parts,
as smooth and cold
as marble
The honesty hidden
beneath
eloquence
analogies
other distractions
evasions
...
when the truth
is too much

But it's still me on the page
...
...
But what I can't figure out
is,
do I do it
for social approval?
To be heard?
To spill out my emotions?
To make something beautiful?
...
Just cause?

A wintry night
the wind swirls around
...
...
...
blowing my questions
away with a chill...

Trigger warning: Self harm, cutting


just one more line....
that's all you'll need
one line will be enough...
and then one more

one more


four more




six more



do it on your leg so they can be bigger

just.... cut.....
Over and over



OVER AND OVER

and the blood just sits there

and i stare back at it

all over my wrist

drawing on my thigh

it stings.....


but i can think
i can breathe
i felt it
my satisfaction
got my fix




but i know next time

i'll require a bit more