They say pain
makes poetry
so I wondered why
I hadn't been writing
then I remembered
pain is not what I'm feeling
it's what I'm yearning
in all this feeling
of numb

you're back
but there's no promises
there's no guarantees
that there can ever be an "us"

Song of love, twisted by welling darkness.

Vengeful art, practiced with vicious subtlety.

The softest lips whispered the hardest lies.

She exhaled an evocation of ethereal dreams,

Whose only prophecy was eternal sorrow.

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow—
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream:
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand—
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep
While I weep—while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

I'm sorry
because I can't control my broken mind.
Please, forgive me
because I don't know what to do with my toxic feelings.
You need to understand,
that my mind is dark and I have trust issues,
that some days it's impossible for me to care about the people I love.
I  don't want you to leave me,
because even though I can act like I don't need you
you are the one that's keeping my boat afloat.
But I'm not the type of person you need in your life;
You need someone willing to dry your tears
and I'm one of the reasons why you cry at night.
You need a lighthouse to show you the way back to sanity,
and I'm a storm that causes you  anxiety.
And because I love you
deep enough to realize how toxic I am to you,
so much that it hurts to see you hurting because of my words,
I'll have to say goodbye.
Because I care about you,
and if you stay with me
I'll end up breaking you.