its hard to care when the world is up against you
its hard to care when you feel like you're drowning
and it's hard to care when water keeps pouring in
and you don't know how to swim.
i've forgotten what an outstretched hand feels like, and i've forgotten how to use my words. there's nothing left to say. when i think about reaching out for someones hand i'm tempted to pull back, as if it wouldn't have still been empty. as if someone would have actually cared.
do you know how it feels? to have your breath knocked out of your chest. to drive home, hands 10 and 2 on the wheel, tears allowing you to wash out the world for a quick instant.
and maybe that's the issue, right? we're all too silent before we're gone, that's why there was no hand. but is it really our fault?
my mouth and brain are no longer in conjunction with each other and speaking and not speaking is both difficult and easy
could you hold my hands for a second?
drown me out for a while.
-drowned
concecptcollection
going through my drafts to see what i want to publish & came across this. i felt like i remember writing this particular poem, straight up onto this forum, during an especially hard time in my life. i'm glad to say i'm hardly there anymore.