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not sure if i'm getting better or worse--
i've been undiagnosed
but i don't need a doctor to tell me
that aspiring to plath in more than her poetry
is probably not healthy.

but i know i love you.
and i love you more than i hate myself.

so i'm seeing a doctor .
this has been a long battle
 Jan 2016 Eiliv Advena
Gary
Haiku 5
 Jan 2016 Eiliv Advena
Gary
Night time snow blowing
Sky filled with darkened cold
Coffee warms my soul
No medals for those who die on Site,
Just silence, till the Ambulance has gone,
Then, disconnecting like a crumpled kite,
The twisted scaffold, he had fallen from.

No more teasing his taste in Sandwiches,
Or Football team, that lost, again,
Just back to gable-ends steep pitches
As bosses begin, to shift the blame.

After the Funeral, we drank to him,
He, who was one of us,
Those who risk life and limb,
Gathered tightly, into a nucleus.

Hushed, we lifted Whiskey and Ales,
To a life, that rang with hammers and nails.
This poem is for my mate Martin, who I was working alongside,
when he fell off the scaffolding
By: Cedric McClester

We could see it
In his eyes
What we all feared
We realized
Was getting nearer
Every day
Pretty soon
He’d go away

He let his art
Be his voice
What he shared
Was quite by choice
Beyond his veil
Of mystery
He wrote it down
For us to see

Ever changing
As he went
His creative energy
Was well spent
Because he chose
Not to relent
When he shared
A sentiment

Ziggy Stardust
And Major Tom
Were alter egos
Endowed with charm
Cathartic renderings
Made to disarm
An errant critic’s
False alarm

























Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2016.  All rights reserved.
So this is it, you’re ready to fight, you’ve had now many sleepless nights
Eat your M.R.E,  and load your gun, can’t you see? there’s the sun
Ready to go and buddies by your side, men to your left, men to your right
Now you realize your prayers have to work, you have to save him and him to save Her
In your head you picture the worst, alone, brothers dead it’s like you’ve been cursed
You hear gunfire, adrenaline rushes through your veins, you look down and your cameo has been covered in stains
Your thinking “Why does it have to be like this?”, it’s getting you ticked, knowing all some do, is take advantage
All that’s left are your last few friends, you don’t care about yourself anymore, you need to get them to the end
Some men go down, 1 2 3, you’re asking God now, “Why not me?”
Then as quick as a flash, the battle is over and done, it is now the setting of what feels like a just risen sun
A few of your brothers come up and see you with head in your hands, tears down your face, and gun in the sand
You look up to see the survivors faces, then you all  silently head back to your bases
They lower the fallen in, nothing has been more real. Did you even win? This is so hard to feel
To some these things don't matter, in their minds, these guys were just zeros. But as for me, I will honor my fallen heroes.
                                         ~Trinity Monks
Thank you to those who have fought and even given your lives for this country. I can not explain my appreciation enough.
I am the only one
To notice the small
Intricacies of me
The little dimple
On my left cheek
That only shows
Sometimes
The way my eyes
Always glimmer
My freckles
That lace my body
The rosy color
Of my face that never stops
Me
I see me
And one day
I hope someone else does too.
 Jan 2016 Eiliv Advena
K R W
If only I grew some *****,
Life would be so much easier...

K R W
 Jan 2016 Eiliv Advena
Cat Fiske
If I could wave a magic wand,
as if to wave away everything to becalmed,
would you, would I,
look up at the sky,
and tell me if you can see,
if you cannot we still aren't free,
as the sky has taken overview, over us,
we must learn to love ourselves, **** it up,
and not fall down, but rise up.
we all must stop trying to play with magic,
and get our heads out of such tactics,
but uses our mind,
to lead our souls less blind,
than wands won't matter,
no matter how big a disaster.
idk a poem
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