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isn't it strange how the human brain
causes you to feel emotions
you cannot explain?
what do you call the feeling you're overcome with as a scent from the past tickles the inside of your nose?
feeling a sense of eruption when those hands you've longed to caress finally slide to the nape of your back, when those lips you've studied for so long finally collide onto yours.
these feelings are much too strong to be considered simple emotions,
these feelings can build a new beginning to your life's foundation,
or
they can crumble the dream into sharps of glass that cut deep into your core, what is this feeling?
I crave to acknowledge and correct societies overuse of claiming and calling our emotions.
These feelings are much too strong to be considered
normal.
Quiet quiet in my head it's quiet
Riot riot my heart wants a riot.
More and more I
Long for wars than peace and
Bigger greater
Grows my love for fears then
Quiet quiet
Before storm it's silent
Riot riot
Im awaiting my end
Larger brighter
Fire's flames are rising
Thinking dreaming
Over-analysing.
a flutter a flutter,
between my hips,
gentle gentle,
like five thousang sailing ships.

oars dragging through,
leaving marks against me,
flutter flutter,
I love you says he.

butterflies butterflies,
they continue to grow,
they're tapping my heart,
my chest is aglow.

twisting and flying,
tunneling in my vein,
you're the blood pumping through,
butter bug, you've left a stain.

A strawberry red one,
on my collar bone,
gentle as you land there,
flutter flutter,
oh my, you have grown.
When her words fade into the echoes,
The whispers of night take their place,
They gossip with tongues made of shadows,
And snarling they spit at my face.

When her smile has escaped from my sight,
The wheels of my iron heart slow,
I lose faith in the promise of light,
And reject every reason I know.

When her hand has dropped back to her side,
And ended its too-swift goodbye,
My wish and my choice must divide,
I won't be with her 'til morn's sleepy eyes.
I wouldn't call myself spiritual.
I'm agnostic for the most part
With a lot of atheist anger
It's hard to believe in what I can't see
I can't believe in man either
So call it what you will
I'm a heretic
I'm a sinner
I'm sacrilegious
All I know is that
I am God
And God is alive in all I touch and see
I can not believe in a bearded man in space
But I can believe in myself.
I can believe that I can help
I can believe I can lend an ear
I can lend a hand
I can become the merciful God
That I have always wished was there.
We are all gods with our own reach.
So if there is a real God looking over me,
I'm not sorry.
My body is my temple
And I need not sheep to worship it.
I will worship myself.
I sit in solitude on this overcast day of gray and sun enjoying some tea.
Reflecting on my life whether in darkness or luminous light.
.
Sun sneaking a peek from behind the clouds when they break.
Leaving me wondering if raindrops will fall from the sky this day.

Haze appearing as the sun strikes the moist grass.

The fog of my brain holding me back in darkness as I reach for the light.
Peeking in from the darkness of my mind, searching.

Leaving me wondering if what I see, is anywhere close to reality.
There are days when you want to cry and days where you can just do it.
                                           This is one of those days.

There are times when you feel the way, and times when you see the way.
                                           I know the way.

So come to me dear friend, I love you like no other.
Come to me and turn from friend to beloved brother.

I know what you are going through. I have felt this way before.
You want it to be over, your heart is so sore.

I will do what I can to help you heal.
So, don't push it away, but let yourself feel.
To my friend Philip:)
 Jan 2016 Eiliv Advena
Clindballe
Kunne jeg bare formidle mine tanker der myldrer som myrer ned på papir så du kunne se mit rod og mine ord ville du måske elske mig. Jeg er bange for at miste alt og alle men især dig når klokken tikker mod morgenstunden og jeg ikke har lukket et øje. Tankerne sværmer som fluer på en alt for varm sommerdag mens jeg skøjter hen over billeder og snubler over dig. Mine tanker går med at tænke på dig men du tanker aldrig bilen så jeg lader dig går over isen i håb om at du falder over ordene jeg elsker dig.
Written: January 12. - 2016
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