Dead lover

Dead lover Jan 2023

The depth of your eyes, makes me lose my mind that inspires to leave everything behind.

It enchants me and makes me jump into the ocean that knows no emotion.

I imagine you tracing my face, each time that I feel the wind, Yes with imagination I have sinned.

I wish there was a way to end my sorrow, my best bet is on having no tomorrow.

But today, yet again am in pain, I've been tied to the past and that's turning me insane.

You deserve to be together forever, with someone that you treasure.

My dream has had its fulfilment,
It was brilliant, but I know I don't deserve your commitment.

Live Long and Prosper, oh "Love of My Life", I know I can never apologize,
But will I still get to look into your eyes?

I've never felt more alone in life. I feel bad for my one sided feelings, it is a torture for me, my loved one and also for those who are looking after me.

I wish i gain enough strength to not let these emotions make me cry every now and then. I'm sorry for acting out when you said a no. I should have never confessed, I should have tamed the butterflies and none of this would have ever happened.

#love #hurt #depression #broken

Dead lover Jan 2023

Unclaimed

She wishes she could tell you that she's doing better.
She wanted to express her feelings, and you let her.

Now, acknowledged she does feel,
Her wounds continue to heal.

She knows why you pushed her away,
There's a reason why she couldn't say what she wanted to say,
That day, in the cafe.

She wants you to achieve your crazy idea and let you do whatever it is that you need to do,
She doesn't have what it takes to be angry at you. It is the truth, she'll always love you.

She is sorry that she was rude,
And ruined your mood over the food.
She didn't wish to hurt you with her words so crude,
But that's the way she does brood.
You didn't have to hear her nonsense, dude.

You, she'll never have the strength to claim,
Yet, she lights up each time she hears your name,
She loves you still, she loves you and will always feel the same,
It is not that she'd wait for you, more like she can't move on.
It her fault, you should not get the blame.

I love you.

Thank you for meeting me. I'm sorry for my words. I shouldn't have been rude. You deserve a better person.

#love #date #anxiety #crush #blush

Dead lover Jan 2023

On you, I dote

Will it ever stop to hurt?
Will I ever forget you dressing up in that cream shirt?

There are moments when am happy, and then I cry inconsolably,
I've gone crazy, totally.

I will always pray for your happiness and success,
and my feelings I shall try to suppress and no longer express.

Your smile fills my heart with emotions, as if it were causing a flood,
My heart keeps aching for you, as if a part of you has been dissolved in my blood.

Day by Day, my spirit moves away from this body of clay.
I'm afraid as a character, I don't have long to stay in my own play.

This love is unrequited, I'm delighted I have memories to fill up my heart's treasury.
Still for some reason there's this curiosity, will ever he?

I wish you live happily. I've no anger or hatred towards you. And I hope I do stop bugging you.

Idk if this is your way of helping me get my closure, but it is honestly more difficult than I had imagined it to be. You've been so indifferent to my "I love you", would a single "thank you" had hurt you? Would it still hurt you to just randomly acknowledge them someday?

You'll not believe me if I were to tell you that each of the time that I've spent with you is engrained and it pops up as a happy memory... My brain has started to uncover memories from back in school - in depths I never knew I had lived back then... But at the same time, I'm also living a hard-to-get-on terms kinda realisation yet again, your love interest was not me and shall never be me.

I'll pray for you and whoever you choose to be with. May you live long happy and healthy lives in ways you both dream and then deem fit.

I just hope to have some strength within me to be able to repress these emotions again... In tired of them resurfacing over and over again, when we aren't meant to be why can't they just be done with?

I'm nobody to complain but it does pain to imagine that he had time for people but me... I just don't matter to him.. I regret that you can't even be honest with me that it took you soo long to just turn me down... I wonder if I am so bad as a person that you decided to leave me hanging? I also wonder if I have ever done so much harm that i just end up hurt over and over again... But it would be good if I don't jinx anyone's life.. I don't know why do you say I'm a good person, it took SB 5 years of relationship and 9 years of knowing me to conclude that I'm a very bad and manipulative person. I do not know what eyes you see me thru.. but thank you.. even though I do not relate with your interpretation, but from the bottom of my heart I really appreciate your effort at trying to see me as a person than as a body.

I love you, and i always will.

#heart #hurt #memories

Dead lover Jan 2023

Live on

I wish you enjoy your space,
In someone else's warm embrace..
I'll be at peace thinking about your happy face,
And relive your touch, as wind brushes against my face, as I wait for you at The Lakes..

From my memories I can't erase you,
From my dreams, I can't replace you.
For it's true, believe me even though I withdrew,
And you, I no longer 'actively' pursue.

But in my heart, there's nobody else,
For Who it makes as much sense,
to cherish the agony and laments,
At my present's expense.

I love you.

I want you to live, live on for me.
I just want to see, you live happy,
And i totally get that your happiness doesn't lie with me.

I will move the mountains, I will change our stars,
If you consent,
each morning to drink some tea with me..
Oh absentee!

I live on, I will continue to,
What if it is not next to you?
You are one of the few,
Worth the wait.

I wonder, if it hurts you too?

#hope #happy #love

Jan 2023

Mr X

Young Blood Has No Soul

Lust or Love?

My youth chose the former.

The heart crumbled,
And the body awakened.

And there it was..

A single cup of coffee at the table,
Reflecting a heap of worn skin and wrinkles.

Nevertheless, sunsets were always beautiful.

#love #young #lust #youth #loneliness #life

Dead lover Jan 2023

The Template

Love is blind, and it knows only to see what is kind.
Give me some time.
And to self, I shall convince,
toxicity was the love language of my prince...

The heart aches, misses a beat at times each time I get thoughts of you.

If we aint meant to be, why have these feelings survived, and still feel so true?

#love #toxicity #hope

Dead lover Jan 2023

Love

I wish you hug me one day,
If not everyday, at least one day.

I will not ask you for more,
I will not become a daily chore.

I will never ask you to say,
What you do not and thus can not say.

I have loved you for as far as I can remember,
It was just my confession that I made in December.

You trying to hurt me to make me move on,
Reminds me of the scene between Eowyn and Aragon.

What makes you think you can do, to stop me from loving you?
I ask you not for your presence, just that you acknowledge my feelings for you.

Which you do not, even though it won't hurt to.
It will not cost a penny.
I am not asking you to love me too.

I cry myself to sleep, even though to you I say i am better,
You never acknowledged any feelings on calls or the letter.

You did not see me, you don't know i am in pain.
I know you do not want to see me ever again..

I deserve one hug, if not more.
You've never really hugged me before.

Give me some meaning, just closure I don't ask for a hope.
I know you don't like me, and for a future together, there's no scope.

But to you, oh my near and dear one!
I wish, I was more than just a no one.

I've no idea what's the point of hurting someone who has already grieved for so long?
That's not how my love, you can make me move on...

I loved you then, I love you more today,
In my own ****** up way.

You didn't have to reciprocate what you can't.
I will never ask you to. But what's so wrong about just saying a simple "Thank you"?

Ykw, I love you, and I will. For I have no switch to turn it back.... You've never been a bad person to me, I don't know how do you want me to see you as one... Don't give me reasons on why we shouldn't be together.. I've said everything that's there in my heart, I have nothing hidden anymore. I know you still care for me and I do too... That for me is more than enough... But I really hope one day I do get to hug you, and to get a selfie clicked with you... That's all..

And I hope I stop crying... My eyes hurt.. my face looks all puffy and has got a few scratches from the tears that actually Dry up your face.

Maybe one day you'd care to know about it...and I write it here with that hope. I love you
Willing to be Yours and only yours..

#love #faith #hope #unrequited #hug