I am entropy again
and it’s not the same.
My energy is falling daily,
things look dark, ouch,
I’m all over these days. Umbral
shadows dashing yet slowing my ways. Luminous
photons, in my eyes, positive, but accelerating
away so negative. Fingernails, chewed.
Random urges to *****, tasting for a pink hue.
If it’s a cool night, with my pills I’ll get physical.
Eyes on the inside bruised black and blue.
Confidence approaching zero, thirsty,
I’m feeling for clear shots.
Mind is dazed, I taste the craze, and can barely rhyme.
I’m all over myself, so I’m on nothing when I see
her creep out sometimes, taking my space
blocking the Sun. I’m sad, tempest-tossed,
old shades arise when she appears;
hurt, jealousy, anger whispering.
I cry from the inside, burning tears.
I’m locked within myself once more.
Who am I? Lost but not found.
I can’t take this any longer.
Why does she pick so late
to pixelate in my mind?
She lives as I die. I beg for mercy!
Frightening, so ******* frightening,
my happiness isn’t conserved, but why?
Hopes, laughs, peace, joy, love;
broken, tears, death, fury, darkness.
I can’t survive with this mentality,
I testify I can’t touch the sky.
Do they ever truly leave us alone?
She flies over my head,
please help me. Why?

Mustering courage, I stepped out my front door.
Awaiting a departure, my patience was poor;  
Your enticing eyes gleamed with gold.

I gazed upon your face, questioning my luck.

Beauty personified, you admired me back,
Elevating my pressure, I started to crack.

Your saunter carried such a passion in its wake,
Our eyes intertwined; happiness is its make.
Utopia is in our embracing, and it is ours to take.
Resting my head by yours, our affection was never fake.

Being connected with you is such bliss;
Other worlds are met with every kiss.
Your hand with mine, nothing’s better than this.
Forgetting any pain, my stress is remiss.
Roaming without you; a soul so amiss.
Inside my heart is you, with no abyss.
Ethereal is your beautiful eyes and lips.
Never in your presence will the Sun eclipse.
Daylight with you, Rachelle, is my eternal wish.

In a world of pain
In a world of fear
I can't tell you how much it means
To have you here

Red wine and lye
In sea salted bathtub
Candles glimmer as I imbibe
Liquids made to wash
Away the dirt and grime
And poison blackened sadness
Built-up in veins over time
Bleached bone-white skin
Sipping ammonia with lemon and lime
Takes my pain away

Such a double-edged sword is hankering;
lending way to most useful ambition
that gives inspiration to musicians.
It also can subvert our pure mindset;
corrupting our light so tragically,
as it sadly pits us against our own.
Envy is only evil when our tone
turns to tempered despise as our eyes set
upon those without any sense of debt.
We wish for positivity in life;
no stress, no hatred, no sadness, no strife.
Yet, without those joys, desires do beset
when we covet pleasures from each other,
peace and love, will our jealousy smother.